Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

went to watch The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy last night.. i really liked it, but that was cos i hadn't read the book.. while i watched my three HGTTG-purist friends sitting next to me wince at every change to the original book! i'd love to make this post as ironically humorous as the book really is.. but then that would render Douglas Adams quite useless, the improbability factor of which is 2 raised to the power of 17165102505 against one.. which happens to be the phone number of a buffalo apartment where a really interesting party was taking place after the movie.. but hey! i digress!!

so we had a post-movie party.. got the regular large pizza & buffalo wings and lots of booze.. it was nats, sank, arul and i.. gaurav (aka gpRX100) and bhavna came as well.. and dan came too with his friend laurie. dan had burned a CD of the original BBC TV series of Hitchhiker's Guide.. which was truer to the book, but not quite as slick as the film, though i have been since reliably informed that the audio books are excellent. so the story thus far is that in the beginning the universe was created. this made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

anyways, won't bore you with the details.. but we pretty much did what (old) grad students do.. sat around and ate, drank and talked.. conversation was pretty funny though.. and i think we had one of our better small parties for a looong time. and so to close this post, i'd like to finish with a very famous line from the book: "so long, and thank you for all the fish", but i won't, because that will be as incredibly cliched as ships hanging in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.. and of course, as we all know, the answer is NOT always 42.. cos if i ask you if you are really an idiot, and you answered 42, i will be compelled to think that you really are an idiot, which is marginally better than being a politician, since anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. which is why news of George Bush's election and subsequent re-election spread very fast because as you well know, nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. and when he proceeds to let us know that we are safe, i really wanna say ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that i wasn't previously aware of.

NB: Marvin, the chronically depressed paranoid android was hilarious!! totally stole the show! i could tell you more about him, but you would not like it.. so Don't Panic!

cut short

all good things..

strawberry  cheesecake,  crazy  parties,  barbecued  chicken,  crates  of  beer,
days in limbo, ounces of weed, rocking concerts, and long-distance relationships

.. come to an (often premature) end.

midnight's child

we went to watch Salman Rushdie in college today, as part of his lecture tour. he was witty, he was eloquent.. he was open, he was forthright. he was awesome, really. and he brought to the fore all the prejudices we have about people. i have only read 'Midnight's Children' from all his works.. and i went in today expecting to hear a vitriolic speaker defending his stand, a repressed writer trying to break free, an angry old man heaping scorn on his tormentors.. and he was nothing like that!

this rushdie is a smart guy, he dresses well.. he's a smart guy, he thinks long and hard.. he's a smart guy, he pulls his legions of hot women by being downright funny. he can be a riot! he read pieces from his books that had laughter echoing in the rafters, and he regaled us with even funnier anecdotes that had people chuckling long after they came home and sat down to their dinners.

he spoke very frankly about the whole controversy about 'Satanic Verses', about his upbringing in the cultural melting pot that newly-independent india was, his college days in a not-so-swanky chelsea apartment, his love for the amalgam of languages in modern society. he has a gift for describing people.. we felt his stories come alive, as if we were there!

rushdie is recognised as a free-thinker in modern society, and with that comes the regular labels of 'anti-establishment' and 'rebel'.. but listening to him one felt.. "why not?". after all, you will never get your voice heard if you stick to the straight and narrow! and most times when people have something of worth to say, it is because they are pushing away barriers, exploring the territories off the beaten path.

the whole event was perfectly managed.. he came in, charmed the crowd with his wit.. passed his message of free speech and writing as an art, nicely cloaked in humour.. didn't play for the audience's sympathy regarding the 'fatwa' decree that was on his head.. and in fact made quite a few jokes about it.. very significantly: "the Ayatollah put out a deathwish on me.. look who's alive today?! i guess the pen really IS mightier than the sword!" my one issue with it all was that same issue i have with all shows/concerts/performances.. that they look a little orchestrated, and a little artificial.. but i guess that's how we get to see them.. what are the odds Metallica would play in our backyard the next time we barbecue, and i'd meet Salman Rushdie at the local pub and he'd buy me a pint and we'd discuss foreign policy?!

to close, he quoted a line from one of his favourite authors, Saul Bellow: "open up the universe a bit" in reference to art, and the role it has played in the past, and continues to play.. against the forces that fear free thought, and push back the same boundaries that art tries to push out. a lot of food for thought there.

hump day

no people.. the title doesn't mean i went to Third Base and scored with some sorority chick.. it's just that once you're done with wednesday the weekend is here, and you're over the hump, so to speak! :-P

today was one of those days.. made no significant breakthroughs (with research that is!).. met no interesting people (except that same arrogant asshole i end up talking to every other day!).. just did more of the literature reviews for the thesis, and managed to convince my supervisor that she should promote me to student co-ordinator.. though there's no pay-rise involved, so god only knows why i bothered.

salman rushdie comes to UB tomorrow.. i'm sure his talk will be interesting, but let's see if it's controversial! actually all will be forgiven if he brings his gf padma lakshmi along too.. man she is smokin'!! whew!! and she cooks too!

if you're still reading this hoping for pearls of wisdom, i fear i shall have to gently but firmly turn you away.. there is nothing for you here today! damn, i shouldn't have bothered typing this post.. the six beers that went down the hatch have since disappeared into the bloodstream, and i'm as sober as the late Pope now :-|

interpret this

nicole kidman is The Interpreter, and she turns in one of her better performances. sean penn definitely makes his secret service agent character very three-dimensional. the story is set in NYC, with kidman working as a translator in the UN.. she was born in a fictional african country and grew up there, before civil war led her to move out. this film is a sydney pollack special, with his regular slow yet constant paced murder thriller.

the whole plot backdrop bears a more than passing resemblance to the story of several african nations today.. the senile dictators, the strife-torn countries, the dysfunctional loyalties, and the issue i identify with the most.. the politics of skin colour - what is it really like growing up in africa and being non-black skinned.

don't dig too deep behind the sheen, this is not that intelligent a movie.. but it is definitely better than the regular hollywood fare.. worth the ticket definitely! i leave you with a closing thought, also from the film: "According to custom, if a man kills a member of your family and is captured, he is tied up and thrown into the river, and it is up to your family to save him, or let him drown. If he drowns, you will have vengeance, but you will grieve all of your days. If you save him, you will be released from your lament. Vengeance is a lazy form of grief." - what do you think?

translation of research terms

for those of you thinking of pursuing a MS.. you would do well to familiarise yourself with the following research terms, and their translations in plain english (in italics)

It is believed that...
   I think.
It is generally believed that...
   A couple of other people think so too.
It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of the phenomenon occurs...
   I don't understand it.
It has long been known...
   I didn't look up the original reference.
A definite trend is evident...
   These data are all practically meaningless.
Of great theoretical and practical importance...
   Interesting to me.
While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions...
   An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study...
   The results of the others didn't make any sense.
Typical results are shown...
   The best results are shown.
These results will be shown in a subsequent report...
   I might get around to this sometime if I'm pushed.
A careful analysis of obtainable data...
   Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer.
It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field...
   This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others on this miserable topic.
Correct within an order of magnitude...
   Wrong.

NB: apparently this originally appeared in a scientific journal article in the '50s!!

a sad poem

ahh, weekend how i'd waited for thee
your coming filled me with utter glee
from the thesis and research can't flee
no time to be me, no time to live free

i felt like i was in class 6 again.. writing poems such as this.. but the going of the weekend is still anticipated with the same loss of hope and longing, after a weekend that's been alternately relaxing, resting, cleansing, and yet unfulfilling too.

apocalypse denied

the silence of the vast desert is like none other      a lone horseman breaks the unending line of the horizon      the call of the wild is answered by this outlaw      a pale blue sky with angry clouds piling in one corner      the cowboy reins his horse back, and looks behind once again      a four-fingered plume of dust rises in the distance      the approach of the four horsemen is clearly communicated to all

the outlaw revels in the last moments of tranquil     a last gasp and the silence dies as the sons of hell break loose     the Horsemen are drawing nearer, too late for confession now     a quick flourish and he draws his weapons of trade     the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are here for your deliverance     a life well lived or not, they are here for retribution     the fights he fought before flash through his eyes before this fight

a white horse appears, its rider held a bow of conquest
a red horse appears, its rider holds a sword of war
a black horse appears, its rider holds a pair of scales, of famine
a pale horse appears, its rider is called Death

the standoff is mutual, respected by both sides     a wary eye cast upon the warriors that ride together     the demon steeds snort, steel-clad hooves kicking up sand     a loud challenge to the outlaw, and four steeds ride     the lone horseman will not fight this good fight in vain     a maelstrom of thoughts and memories fly through the air     the dusty air is thick with sentiment and regret

the white horse is beaten, its rider's bow snapped across the middle
the red horse is defeated, its rider's sword shattered into pieces
the black horse is quelled, its rider's scales of famine quenched
the white horse is vanquished, it's rider's name defiled, an eternity won

the solitary rider leaves the scene behind him     a weary knight leaving his links with the past in the past     the dust settles upon the four messengers of doom again     a time will come again for them to rise and ride again     the setting sun casts a red eye upon the scene left     a befitting end to another great battle won     the knight flawed, the champion inside, the outlaw torn

a silly poem

ahh, weekend how i waited for thee
your coming fills me with utter glee
from the thesis and research to flee
a time to be me, a time to live free

i feel like i'm in class 6 again.. writing poems such as this.. but the coming of the weekend is still anticipated with the same hope and longing, after a week that's been alternately frustrating, tiring, maddening, and yet fulfilling too.

apathy

noun

1. Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference.
2. Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness.

it's that last bend before the home straight.. the last few bites of the main course before the dessert.. the last ten minutes of a game you've already won.. the last dog-days before the payoff.. this lack of motivation can be a serious bitch

set the artist free

i've been watching quite a lot of Tenacious D lately.. and i like what JB says about "setting the artist free".. how many of you are in careers now that you do things almost mechanically, going through the motions, a functional robot?! is what you're doing today for your career what you want to do? or is it something that you have started wanting to do? biggest question of them all, are you happy doing what you're doing?

ok, this post is heading towards job satisfaction.. which was not my idea at all, esp since i don't even have a job!! i think every one of us has a creative bone (at least one!) in their body.. some people seem to be entirely made up of creative bones! i only hope that i can get a job where i can get the time and energy to do the 'creative' things i like doing.. writing.. music.. drawing.. cooking - who knows if i'll ever be able to make an alternative career out of any of those?!

how many people do you know who have given up their day jobs to follow their dreams? yes i know what you're saying "give up my day job? are you crazy?!" maybe i don't have it in me to do that, but i sure as hell would like to meet a few people who do! take some time out to look at HemisphereDancer and his world.. an engineer who gave it all up to follow photography. he has an excellent site, and amazing pictures - a truly inspirational person!

this post has been a bit here and there and nowhere at the same time, which is kinda like the state of my mind.. see y'all laters :-)

spring, finally!

had the best weather of the season yet today, it touched 75.. and all the pretty girls finally broke out their tiny shorts and tinier skirts.. mmm :-))!! it certainly made work easier today!

we fired the grill up today, what better way to celebrate the coming of the season eh?! roasted some eggplants and made 'baingan bharta' (spiced roast eggplant).. will put up the recipe on the cooking blog soon. made some tandoori chicken (grilled chicken) too, the pic doesn't do the food justice though!

we did hear that it might touch zero and snow again later this week, but hey, that's buffalo weather for you! :-)

bright sunshiny (mon)day

today was indeed a rare day, to be cherished! after all, how many mondays do i wake up at 8, smiling? last night was great, nats and i whipped up our latest instalment of the 'Cooking Times' - Malabari Fish Curry - which came out quite excellent! a tad bit spicy, but hey, where's the fun otherwise eh?! ;-) (ok, i downplayed it slightly with the 'tad bit', it kicked like a damn donkey on speed!)

we watched 'Black' during dinner as nats hadn't watched it yet; there's not much i can say about the movie that hasn't been said yet.. but it is one of the must-watch films of the year! call me soft, but that one held the keys to the gates of the waterworks. *sniff*!! nats and i were just discussing that it's lucky RGV didn't pick it up and turn it into a horror along the lines of Ju-on: The Grudge - whew!

i have finally discovered how to beat my advisor, by playing him at his own game! i call him before he calls me, see him and then lose him in a deluge of words describing things that i'm planning to do.. and before he can even say "Bob's my uncle!!" i'm outta there and scot free for a few more days!! ironically, his nickname's Bob too! ;-)) now before any of you take on that admonishing tone with me, trust me.. i am working! i actually have most of the thesis laid out, with the appropriate titles etc., now i just need to fill the vast, empty, white spaces under the titles.. (apparently none of the material i wax so lyrically about on this blog is eligible for a Masters thesis!) *gulp*, see ya ppls!

no. 300

time is like a high, it does tend to pass you by! it's almost a year since i started blogging, and am on to three hundred posts.. most of it has been a rush, there have been a few downs.. and blogging is definitely one of the better things i have done over the past year.

a big thank you to all for your support. comments are always welcome, but even when you don't comment my statcounter tells me that you have been here.. and it is a nice feeling to know that i am talking to quite a few of you out there! over the year i have made numerous new friends, and learned lots of things, and now that i am about to graduate and go out into the relative wilderness, i will look back upon these days with wistful regret.. but until then let's live it up.. what say eh?!

i started off with one blog, and wasn't really sure i would be able to update it regularly either.. i have always been a bit of a chaotic person, and routines really bother me. with the blog however it's been fun, and i feel under no pressure to post regularly.. of course the day that happens then it just might be time to move on! anyways, i have four blogs now.. all with quite eclectic content.. feel free to check them all out!

Saurabh's World - this is the original blog, with a bit of everything thrown in.. come by and find out what's up!
Saurabh's Ideas - this was created as a kinda notebook for the million ideas i get, which i usually forget faster than record!
Saurabh's Blues - this is where all the 'blue posts' are chronicled - never even thought they would become a genre!
Saurabh's Recipes - this one's quite self-explanatory. have tried to make the recipes as layman-friendly as possible!

once again thank you all for coming by, and hope to see more of y'all in the future! :-))

friday night lights

had an excellent party last night.. gaurav (henceforth to be known as 'gprx'.. in honour of his RX100 bike) had come over.. nats and i were on our latest instalment of 'Discover Indian Recipes', so we made Chicken Vindaloo which came out very good actually.. meanwhile we were busy demolishing a bottle of Smirnoff.. and umpteen Molson Exports.. and Mike's Cran and Smirnoff Twisteds and sangria.. and God only knows what else!! apologies to sank & arul for the whole thing getting pretty late, in future i'll make it a point to start earlier.

anyways, now the really big news! malvika has got a job!! she had an interview in NJ last week, and it's done now, ink has dried on the contract etc, and they're sponsoring the H-1 visa too.. excellent!! dropped off gprx home later, then i went off to 87M.. and quickly moved on to 'higher' things than alcohol.. got back home a pretty wasted fellow at around 4.. no, 5.. umm, i dunno..

it's noon, and a beautiful day outside.. i need to get up.. and go out.. bye.

elixir

     I can help you change tired moments into pleasure,
             Say the word and we'll be well upon our way.
       Blend and balance pain and comfort deep within you,
              Till you will not want me any other way.
         But it's not enough, I need more,
                 Nothing seems to satisfy.
            I said, I don't want it, I just need it,
                    To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

'Stinkfist' - Tool (Aenima)

procrastination

100000 feelings
     10000 thoughts
1000 ideas
   100 plans
       10 begun
               1 continues

high

delta-9-tetrahydro-cannabinol (THC)

sense of well being and relaxation
feeling of happiness and euphoria
inherent introspective dreaminess
increased appreciation of music
improved conception of colour
perception of time distortion
highly stimulated appetite

we could be heroes

it's an interesting thought.. but as human beings, we need heroes, idols, demigods and the like. it's almost as if we seek validation for our efforts, that we can and will be rewarded. as if we need to prove to ourselves that the fight is worth it. every time we look up at these heroes, our battlelines are redrawn, our goals reconfirmed and our minds refilled with hope.. that we too shall 'make' it.

remember that age old conundrum - do we need to know pain to feel joy? is comprehending sadness required to understand happiness? how much do you need to believe in the devil to have faith in god? similarly, people need to be inspired. they need success defined for them, but not always so.

often, inspiration comes from within. for all your heroes, idols etc, do not forget to respect the hero who matters the most - yourself. yes, yourself. from the most narcissistic of you, to the most humble, give yourself credit for the little things you do, and let that be your stepping stone to greater things.

the search for inspirado (© Tenacious D) always begins within oneself.. and every struggle you make, every battle you win.. is a step to a happy, peaceful you. so seek within yourself, for that's where all the answers lie. (for everything else, there's MasterCard®)

post script - grunge

i'm coming off the tailend of my grunge trip.. listened to lots, and still lots to go.. most importantly Mad Season & Temple Of The Dog. i did this little review in my head, of what grunge would sound like today, in 2005. so i listened out for the following bands that are new(ish) on the scene, who became contenders for 'The Next Big Modern Grunge Band'

Alter Bridge - still sound too much like the old Creed, even the lyrics sound like they were written by scott stapp!
Nonpoint - too gadget-oriented, but their drummer can kick hell for leather!! pretty good otherwise, but lack of any real depth in the album.
Breaking Benjamin - again another band relying too much on gadgets, lyrics a little too formally edited and penned, but otherwise another victim of an album containing two- three good songs, and very cliched filler for the rest of the CD.
Mudvayne - very angry, in word and voice, and in their youth they feel that they have 'to go somewhere' with every song. the melodic bass interludes are almost a relief.
Chevelle - very unique sound, one of the better vocalists in this bunch gathered here.. another band that came close, but their writing doesn't show any evolution, and they're flogging a dead horse.
Three Days Grace - freakin' insane lead guitarist!! scary bloke! dysfunctional, almost vengeful lyrics, shows in their music. but lack of album depth and too much aggression let them down.
Theory Of A Dead Man - in their new avtar, having dropped the 'Nickelback-clone' label.. sound better, but gadgetry, lack of depth.. you could throw all the sell-out accusations you want on them.
Seether - another one of the favourites, but beaten in the end by a bit of repetitiveness, and for want of a good drummer, a title was lost. still, i expect good things from this band.
Cold - came very, very close.. with a sound cultivated by Staind, and nourished by bootlegs from seattle gigs.. but internal wranglings tore the band apart. a shame, really.
Shinedown - are probably the band! driving, thump-bass that shows evolution.. abrupt, torn from inside lyrics.. jarring, but still harmonic riffs.. controlled aggression fuelled voice. come closest to what grunge would sound like now, a few years on.

in the end, this was not such a good idea, cos none of this is really that grunge, greater bands than these have tried and failed! most bands try too hard to make the lyrics well-rounded and complete.. like it was some grammar class. i guess no one wants to leave anything to imagination anymore. and believers like kurt cobain and layne staley would probably be glad to not be here and see this glossy, fake exterior we see all around us. i wanna break out.

easy like sunday morning..

this is how i like my sundays.. warm spring sunlight streaming into the room, dappled by the blinds, waking up in time to watch Everton win 4-0 (damn, the FCC are catching up on all the live soccer streaming sites!! aargh!).. then a long and leisurely chat with the honey.. a greasy egg n' sausage brunch.. a walk around the backyard, smelling the wet earth and feeling fresh green grass between the toes.. spring is finally here.

of course, the NFL season hasn't started yet.. so sunday afternoons and evenings are not filled with bonecrunching thuds, lungbreaking runs, armwrenching throws and breathtaking catches.. which is nice cos now i utilise these quiet, blank time-slots in my life for some time with my music. load up the bong, take a good couple of hits and then wait for the buzz..

my eyes wander along the rows of cds.. who shall it be today? who will be rediscovered today? who will rise in my opinion today? who will be psychoanalyzed today? it is almost always a pleasant surprise whatever i play, which i guess comes from years of cultivating a taste for a certain note, a feel for a certain instrument, and some smart buying and selling on eBay! (i'd have liked to mention Napster & other file-sharing P2Ps as well.. but i don't wanna piss off lars (lars ulrich, metallica drummer, who sued Napster and eventually brought it down ;-)!!)

today is an eclectic mix as usual.. Disturbed - 'The Sickness', Bush - 'RazorBlade Suitcase', Ill Nino - 'Confession', Probot - 'Probot' and Alice In Chains - 'Jar of Flies' (for sanity!). yeah, this is gonna be an easy sunday :-)

Sin City baby!

the theater goes dark, and on the screen the terrace of a tall, city building against a grim dark skyline, about to spit rain, a striking lady in a red dress walks to the railing.. "She shivers in the wind like the last leaf on a dying tree.." goes The Salesman from behind her, and starts us off on the high-speed, two hour rollercoaster ride that is Sin City!! excellently made movie, i think it came out exactly how Frank Miller's monochromatic mind wanted it to be like when he wrote the series of novels! directed by Robert Rodriguez (Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn), and featuring as guest director - Quentin Tarantino (do i really need to write credits for him?! where do i start? Reservoir Dogs? Pulp Fiction? Kill Bill?!).. they did an excellent job with the making, the weaving together of plots and the tying off of loose ends. one really got the feeling of being transported back to that era!

so i don't wanna spoil the movie for those who haven't watched it.. but man it was excellent! the loaded star cast did their jobs well.. bruce willis, jessica alba, mickey rourke, clive owen, benicio del toro, devon aokie, brittany murphy, josh hartnett.. elijah wood (who i always slaughter!) it's shot entirely in black and white, with selective one-colour filtering.. full of angry, fighting men.. hot, sexy women.. gruesome, wanton blood-spattering.. fast, furious car-chases.. and little subtleties that are almost a trade mark of the robert rodriguez.. excellent score, brief screenshots, wicked angles.. and the car chases were done by QT.. and every time you see him at work again, you really admire his thought process when he's shooting a film.

if you thought Kill Bill Vol.1 had way too much blood, then maybe you might give this one a miss.. but you'll be missing out on a forgotten era of pulp literature, and stories that gave birth to legends like Batman. Basin City (where the stories are set) has a very uncanny resemblence to Gotham City, in Batman. the pace throughout is relentless, never really eases off the gas pedal.. well worth the ticket price definitely, and then some. do watch it in a theater if you can though. anyways, me off now to watch the downloaded dvd-rip! ;-))

spring, finally

it was a beautiful day today! finally it felt like spring was here.. which is at least a month overdue! it was a shame i had to spend most of it cooped up in the library at work, but anyways, summer will be here soon enough. lazy days basking in the sun, cricket in the backyard, barbecues on the porch, and 24-packs of beer disappearing as we sit on the front balcony.. hmm :-))! oh damn, it clean slipped my mind.. i have research and a master's thesis to complete!! oh well, i shall just have to find time to squeeze in writing that damned thesis then eh?!

came back home and felt inspired, despite the nine hours at work.. so whipped up a pretty excellent meal. mushrooms with peas, chicken jalfraizee and jeera rice, topped up with a Bud.. yeah, life is good :-) aruland i managed second-helpings, but then no work was possible after that!

i have dug a big enough hole, and given myself enough rope.. so now all that remains is for me to climb out and not hang myself in there! my advisor and i set up a friday meeting for a preliminary review of all the work i have done, and how much progress i have made on the thesis. well, as usual, not only am i ill-prepared, i am completely un-prepared!! i'm probably gonna have to spend the next two whole days in the lab before i can face the firing squad on friday afternoon.

the day grunge died

yes, 5th April is gonna go down as the day grunge died.. kurt cobain (Nirvana) supposedly pointed a shotgun to his forehead on this day in 1994.. and some eight years later in 2002, on the same day, layne staley (Alice In Chains) asphyxiated on a speedball and his body was only found days later. was it something in the season.. when the seattle winter refused to be sprung by Daylight Saving Time.. and two people who defined grunge as we know it offed themselves?? R.I.P.

kurt was the quintessential trailer trash kid.. strumming away his guitar to abstract rhymes.. and living under a bridge when the shit hit the fan.. he played a hundred and one bars before finally laying down some tracks on tape. this was the birth of Nevermind, the album that went on to blow all the pop-wannabes off MTV.. with the one single 'smells like teen spirit'. later on he stumbled from one gig to the next, then on to the recording studio.. with a deathwish drug-habit, and a desperate desire to prove (to himself??) that he had finally made it.

layne was the ying to jerry cantrell's yang. together, they created the melodic riffs and driving metal sounds that define most rock bands spawning after that uber-generation, grunge! layne and gang once actually got evicted cos they didn't have enough cash to pay rent! then the album Dirt happened.. and the energetic layne never looked back.. even touring with a broken leg in plaster! layne died still looking for himself, his lyrics showing the desperate scrawls of a man torn inside.

grunge represented all the angst, the desire, the rebelling, the ambition, the whatever-you-want-it-to-be, and the pitfalls too, of teenage.. and which is very surprising to find you don't ever outgrow. maybe it's just me, but i still listen to grunge, and get a totally different lesson each time. music rocks! :-)

work, faith and death

i have a question.. regarding work, and how it fits in religion. not just in religion, but in morals and faith too - i say this so as to not only transcend the barriers of different religions among you all, but so that i may include the atheists and other-believers too (such as followers of the Holy Leaf, and the Holy Spirits!!) so here's a story for you: i present two faithful, devout Catholics.

Peter is your singleminded, devotional, hardworking regular guy. he has a happy family, with studious kids, and a loving wife. he believes totally in the effort mantra, and will always be the last guy leaving work, finishing up his share of the duties, and often more. he goes to church every weekend, and attends mass on all holy days.

John is like Peter, but not exactly. he is a little more easy-going with his outlook on life. you can see him in church with his family too, but sometimes they miss service to go on picnics and stuff. he also completes his work, though its often done at the last minute. he doesn't really strike you as an out-n-out faithful Catholic.

so now that i have built you a picture of these two guys, we come back to last saturday afternoon EST.. and news of the Pope's death just filters through to the two families. Peter is at work, while John has been in church, praying for the Pope.

Peter's mindset is that his time was better spent at work, instead of taking time off work to pray for the Pope. after all, he believes, that's what the Pope, and God, always preached - the sanctity of work. John is caught up in the emotional upheaval, and hasn't been at work since thursday afternoon. he helps to organise a three day wake at his local church.

are we the biggest procrastinators, cos we took time out to pray for the Pope, when what he would have really wanted is for everyone to go back to work! or are we the biggest faithful, that we stood and prayed when we felt the Pope needed our prayers. so, of Peter and John, is any one of them right? is there a right? are they both right?

Nirvana - 'You Know You're Right'

I will never walk it through, I could never promise you
If some things followed you, I will never wander through

Is it me you love again? Guess I'll never have a fan

This will mean me to me, I could never have a seam
It's a never-ending dream, I will always wanna flee

If I'm real, have a go, Empathy I haven't known

   Dream

It's another point of view, How come me libels you
I could never die again, I won't lose another friend

She will see another me, When I'm through I'll meditate
Guess I'll know I'll medicate, Guess I'll fall and medicate

It's another opiate, For me is here to say

   Dream

weekend retreat

this has been my weekend of rest and introspection. as the haze cleared on monday morning, i was still so high you could tie a kite to me and we'd be in outer space now! anyways, the time away from it all (read that as real life!) allowed me to sort out some priorities in life.. chief among those being that the next one month will be a major determining factor as to where my career goes, and where i land up.

the little break also afforded me lots of opportunities to stretch the grey matter upstairs.. and there are quite a few things that i will be discussing the next few days.. call them pearls of wisdom (;-)), you'd be flattering me).. i'd rather call them drops of jupiter (yes Clouds, i thought about you)

anyways, hope you guys have a wonderful week, meanwhile it's 10.09 am , and i'm contemplating if i should drag my carcass out of bed.. after all, every great journey started with a small step nap!!

The Pope has passed away

just read the news.. the Vatican has announced that the Pope has passed away. the news will be covered by hundreds of sites.. i'm following it on CNN

i remember the Pope well, having seen him when i was in high school.. and i remember i felt an aura around the man, of peace, and of the presence of a higher being. it was one of the few episodes in my life that i can look back at with unbridled joy and peace. Pope John Paul II, presided over the Vatican at a time when the Catholic faith was under severe attack, and helped the fall of Communism in the Soviet bloc too. may our prayers help usher the soul of a truly devoted servant of the people, and God, to a better place.

don't even ask

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WARNING: Graduate School is NOT an April Fool's Joke!