Control
The streetlights are a pale yellow-orange frame in the darkness behind me. I lay here looking up at you change. As you stand there in your nightshirt, i see you staring at me, but i hold my gaze unbroken, then you look down. You stand at the end of the bed, looking down, hands folded in front of you. There's silence, occasionally a faraway car horn wafts by in the night's stillness. You kneel on the bed, sitting on your feet, hands still locked together. Finally you look up, and i can see the innocence of letting-go in your eyes. At this point, you can, and will do absolutely anything for me, but not yet. That is yet to come.
I'm sitting propped up by the pillows, watching your fingers shake slightly as you unbutton the nightshirt you're wearing. The yellow neon from the window suffuses your face with a glow. You bite your lower lip, and lean forward to kiss my chest. Your hands are cold, and you raise goosebumps on my arms and legs. My hands are interlocked behind my head, as your open hair covers my belly; tingling sensations as single hairs travel over places you've sloppily kissed. It might be cold outside, but i see little sweat droplets bead up on your forehead. Your touches bring hot rushes of blood, then cold as little drafts gently drifting inside the room settle.
'Enough' i whisper, and sit up straight. You use the back of your hand to wipe your flushed face, then try to pull back all your hair from where sweat has stuck it to your bare shoulders. I don't even have to say anything, as you lie back, eyes firmly closed. I hold your hand in mine, fingers intertwined, leaving your other hand free to roam. My dark shadow hovers on the wall, over your prostrate form, like a vampire poised to strike. I'm looking intently at your face as i breathe gently on your vulnerable, exposed neck. Your eyelids flutter like the wings of a trapped butterfly as each breath brings promise of contact, and each time there's none.
I'm holding your hand, and it guides me, but again, i don't touch. Just the thought that i'm so close is already causing your breathing to go haywire, as your chest rises and falls dramatically. Your free hand is scrambling frantically, like grasping at sliding stones rolling down a hill. Your eyes are scrunched up as tightly as they can, as i blow gently again, and you're panicking wondering where i'll be next.
A little more of this and your head is thrashing from side to side like a beached fish, blood rushing to your face and your breathing like punctuated gasps of gunfire. Finally i say 'Yes', and relief floods your features. Like the passing of a storm cloud, only to be hit by a tornado. Both your hands are scrabbling in my hair, holding my head down as your legs kick out, beating out a manic tattoo in sync with your breathing.
For a second your back arches violently, the damp sheets sticking to you. You scream. A primeval, guttural noise that escapes your lips, reverberates across the room, and is lost in the midnight sky outside. You fall back onto the bed, and your whole body unwinds like a released spring as you exhale noisily.
I go back to my sitting position, as you try to regain semblances of your usual composure. You lean over and kiss me on the lips, mumbling a 'Thank you'. You seem almost confident, and all traces of shyness have disappeared. Yet now you definitely know that you will do absolutely anything for me. That brings a smile to my face.
I'm sitting propped up by the pillows, watching your fingers shake slightly as you unbutton the nightshirt you're wearing. The yellow neon from the window suffuses your face with a glow. You bite your lower lip, and lean forward to kiss my chest. Your hands are cold, and you raise goosebumps on my arms and legs. My hands are interlocked behind my head, as your open hair covers my belly; tingling sensations as single hairs travel over places you've sloppily kissed. It might be cold outside, but i see little sweat droplets bead up on your forehead. Your touches bring hot rushes of blood, then cold as little drafts gently drifting inside the room settle.
'Enough' i whisper, and sit up straight. You use the back of your hand to wipe your flushed face, then try to pull back all your hair from where sweat has stuck it to your bare shoulders. I don't even have to say anything, as you lie back, eyes firmly closed. I hold your hand in mine, fingers intertwined, leaving your other hand free to roam. My dark shadow hovers on the wall, over your prostrate form, like a vampire poised to strike. I'm looking intently at your face as i breathe gently on your vulnerable, exposed neck. Your eyelids flutter like the wings of a trapped butterfly as each breath brings promise of contact, and each time there's none.
I'm holding your hand, and it guides me, but again, i don't touch. Just the thought that i'm so close is already causing your breathing to go haywire, as your chest rises and falls dramatically. Your free hand is scrambling frantically, like grasping at sliding stones rolling down a hill. Your eyes are scrunched up as tightly as they can, as i blow gently again, and you're panicking wondering where i'll be next.
A little more of this and your head is thrashing from side to side like a beached fish, blood rushing to your face and your breathing like punctuated gasps of gunfire. Finally i say 'Yes', and relief floods your features. Like the passing of a storm cloud, only to be hit by a tornado. Both your hands are scrabbling in my hair, holding my head down as your legs kick out, beating out a manic tattoo in sync with your breathing.
For a second your back arches violently, the damp sheets sticking to you. You scream. A primeval, guttural noise that escapes your lips, reverberates across the room, and is lost in the midnight sky outside. You fall back onto the bed, and your whole body unwinds like a released spring as you exhale noisily.
I go back to my sitting position, as you try to regain semblances of your usual composure. You lean over and kiss me on the lips, mumbling a 'Thank you'. You seem almost confident, and all traces of shyness have disappeared. Yet now you definitely know that you will do absolutely anything for me. That brings a smile to my face.
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