Memorial Day post

Memorial Day is a national holiday set aside for remembrance of those who died in the service of the nation. read more about it here. it has become more of a day to spend with the family, ushering in the summer with barbecues and picnics.

i welcomed the holiday with open arms as yet another chance to relax from what was a hectic week, and just as hectic weekend.. truly i never thought the day would come when i welcomed a national holiday as the time to relax!! weekends are rarely times to sleep in anymore, with things to do that keep popping up, which are apart from the stuff you put off for the weekend cos the week was whizzing past too fast.

sank and nats returned from their washington, new jersey & new york city road trip.. so arul (A-Rod!!) and i piled in as well, and we went hiking to what's called the Eternal Flame, a natural gas expulsion in a grotto behind a shale waterfall. we took one of the longer hikes, and the sharp descents and steep uphills made for a good appetite-building trek. i really felt that this would be a great snowshoe hike in peak winter, but hopefully we won't be in buffalo for another winter!

so the trail follows the spurs and peaks of one side of the river valley, then goes down to meet the river, and then you walk back upstream along the shale banks to the small waterfall, where erosion of the shale layers has exposed seams from which natural gas seeps up to the surface. luckily the rains haven't really kicked in, and the melting snows have long gone, so the river was reduced to no more than a bubbling brook. we'd taken the football with us, and on the way back did some uphill cross-country climbing, with the ball tucked in under one arm.. really felt like this was how running backs build stamina in american football.

A-Rod finally treated us today for all his jobs etc.. a sumptuous Indian dinner at Kabab & Curry, excellent top-notch food! thanks mate! tandoori chicken and kingfisher beer, just like old times! :-)) i came home and promptly passed out, tired, full and happy..

PS: i think i'm finally acting like a grad student working on his thesis.. i got up in the middle of the night to actually work!

family time, and all that

this was family weekend.. my cousin bro landed up in buffalo with wife and kid, plus his parents for the Memorial Day weekend.. man i felt so freaking old when the kid started calling me 'uncle'!! aargh!!

so did the usual touristy stuff.. a trip to the Niagara Falls, and on sunday a day at Letchworth State Park.. with the alarming regularity that i do this kind of guide duty, its quite amazing the folks at the Falls haven't given me a 'Staff' badge yet!!

anyways, not much else to write about, so enjoy the pics.. :-)

Robot Chicken

going with Grace's tip for Adult Swim's 'Robot Chicken'.. i found some ten or so episodes on the college network.. hilarious stuff!! they create the most elaborate spoofs, using goofy humor laced with real life sarcasm, with surprisingly expressive clay-puppet lookalikes.. this is stuff you gotta see!! check out some of the content!

Adult Swim

i've been completely won over by Adult Swim, Cartoon Network's latest reincarnation, targetted at a more mature audience. between 11 pm and 5am, it's time for the non-teens to reinvent childhood characters and forgotten fables.. and the range covers everything from sci-fi to sarcasm, samurais to swank. very very trippy, i gotta say.

i am Samurai Champloo's newest fan.. despite the odd-sounding name, the plot is, in the creators' own words.. "A modernized hip-hop tale breaking the barriers of the common, historical, samurai anime." it's got a pretty simple storyline, click on the 'characters' & 'episode guide' buttons on the official site to learn more about how Fuu brings together Mugen and Jin to help her achieve her goal.

acquiesce

some people are born great, some achieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrust upon them,
and then there are few, who just have all of it.

Original quote from William Shakespeare's 'Twelfth Night'.

Revised by Alan Alda, as Capt. F.J. 'Hawkeye' Pierce, in 'M*A*S*H'.

recap

it's the middle of the freakin' nite.. i'm working 8-7 in the morning, and sleep is an elusive mistress.. so what else is there to do but blog.. man i wish i was an undergrad again. heck, we'd be drinking and raising hell right about now.. then we'd play floodlit soccer, and later stuff ourselves silly.. and at this time of the night, get stoned, lie on the grass watching the stars and listen to eclectic music until sunrise, time to sleep..

he-man (aka bunty) had come over for the weekend from atlanta.. and the pinkster was supposed to haul his hairy self up from columbus , but being the lazy f*#ker he is, he hadn't finished the work he was supposed to so that he could make it. it was a nice mellow weekend, especially cos vip had left for baltimore and sank was in cali with his parents.. lazed around, ate some good food and slept like dead horses.

i'm still on the guilt trip regarding my work and all.. i think it's in the air or something, this stupid 'make-you-feel-like-crap' virus.. and i swear i'm gonna kick the shit outta whoever passed this bug to me!! so if you know you're the bugger who came around spreading this, then you better avoid me.. cos i'm likely to fly off the handle pretty fast especially while i'm sorting out my withdrawal issues in this period of abstinence.

yes, you read that right.. i decided to lay off the rockstar lifestyle for at least until next week (or until i finish collecting the datasets from my experiments, whichever comes first). now don't you go getting all supercilious and high-handed on me, nor should you feel sorry for me.. cos man, the day i actually finish this goddamn thesis and get a job.. i'm gonna build such a huge f*#kin' bonfire and throw so much weed on it that even folks on the pacific coast are gonna be seeing the dogs shine and hearing the stars bark!

yeah.. that feels much better now. damn, if only i could get some sleep.

tagged again

hehe, this time the Cat got me! LOL!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
saurabh - pronounced saw-rub :-)
soray - always easier to say!
jolly - *blush* it's what my family calls me..

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
yeahbaby - oh yeah baby!
soraystud - my oldest id..
djcalvin - from my college radio days

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
designer stubble - the first redeeming quality on my face!
wicked eyes - the other redeeming quality
sheer laziness - it IS a physical thing, i just don't get up!!

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
kinda short - i kinda missed out on 6', by quite a few inches :-(
the rest of me i can pretty much live with!

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
indian - origin, kenyan - born n' bred, american - settled (hopefully!)

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
little kids in horror movies - what is with that shit man?!
driving fast between two trailer-trucks - don't ask, it just happens
running out of women/beer/cigarettes/pot on a deserted island - haha ;-)

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
lots of food, aimless lounging and some kickass rock

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
nothing but a smile! hah, kiddin'!! jeans, t-shirt and sneakers (i'm at work, hello!)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
wild, crazy and kinky sex! (is that three things, or one?!)
good conversation
personal space

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
i'm an eternal optimist
i sing pretty good
i'm a one-girl guy

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
nothing like a fine ass, baby!!
hot lips
smartness (i guess you can say brains are a physical thing!)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
finish my goddamn thesis, now!
go to california - wish i had the time and money :-(
sleeeeep..

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
biomaterials engineer - it's what i'm studying
engineering consultant - it's an option
wanton playboy - it's playtime baby.. yeah right! ;-)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
lying on a beach in bahamas
going backpacking in europe
exploring australia properly

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
errm, kids? you kidding me right?!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
try my hand at a home microbrewing operation
grow and smoke up my own hydroponic weed
hold down a decent job, and a good woman.. literally ;-)

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
lemme tag people i didn't get last time!
he-man aka bunty.. george.. & shub - gotcha!!

denial slurred

deliverance the word too loosely used | haunting daylight in a lifetime miscued

separation cleaved by unending touch | appearing again to disappear as such

might be standing there for me to see | might be playing dirges inside for me

hacking cough racks the pictureframe | the neglect and abuse crying in shame


gloom filters through the windowpane | i fight the urge and still stay sane

damn, tagged!!

aaargh Nina, you tagged me!! okay, y'all know how this goes.. a fellow blogger 'tags' you, and you fill in this stuff, and pass on the tag to 5 other bloggers (we all hate chain mail, but this is just for fun, so chill.. and don't condemn me to fiery hell etc!!)

1. Total number of films I own on dvd/video:
i hope this doesn't mean just originals.. cos years of access to P2P forums allowed me to build a pretty sizeable collection of DivX rips ;-).. i'd say somewhere around fifty or so..


2. The last film I bought:
again, i either go watch the flick in the theater, or wait for the DVD rip!! but i did buy 'Ray' for a friend's birthday.


3. The last film I watched:
On tv: 'Gone In 60 Seconds', on TNT this weekend. God i love cars!!
In the theater: 'Crash', an excellent movie. some brilliant acting performances in that.


4. Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me:
- 'Saving Private Ryan': i know it's pretty grim and all that, but it's a very well-made film.
- 'Harold & Kumar Go To Whitecastle': anyone who's ever felt the 'munchies' during a trip, please nod with me here.
- 'Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind': i love this movie.. its an absolute mind-fuck!
- 'Fight Club': talking about mind-fucks, here's another one that just changes your thinking forever!
- 'Andaaz Apna Apna': this is a pretty old hindi movie, but man what a barrel of laughs!! "aila! govinda!!".."chamaila! tu kaun?!"


5. Tag five people and have them put this in their journal:
lol, so who all should i get?! deeps, diamonds, dreamcatcher, reshma, nick, gotcha!!

this month of may

What potent blood hath modest May.
- Ralph W. Emerson

so there i was on sunday evening making grand plans of how i was going to finally get off my lazy behind, and beverylatedly start getting some stuff done that i'd been putting off for ages. my goddamn thesis for one! you would have thought that as a graduate student trying to get out of grad school by august, i should be earnestly buried up to my elbows in data and figures - yeah right! all the burying i'm subjecting my elbows to is in coal, to fire up the grill!

the month of may has been an unending litany of booze, babes, barbecues, bongs, and binges. if i sound like i'm complaining, believe me i'm not.. it's been a blast! however, other central characters in the plot (the parents, thesis advisor, dept. secretary) have been more than interested in my academic progress, leading to persistent phonecalls, meddling mails and inquisitive IMs.. not a good thing eh?!

even though i've always suspected that no good can ever come out of a monday morning, today i came to the impassioned conclusion that not only is that true, but it holds for all other facets of monday too, i.e. monday lunchtime, monday afternoon, and as things go, monday evening and night also. so in that vein, i'm headed back to my comfy couch and remote control, see you all on tuesday. ;-)

steal the sun

I am focused on what I am after

The wonder of the world is gone I know for sure
All the wonder that I want I found in her

As the hole becomes apart I strike to burn
And no flame returns

Every intuition fails to find it's way
One more table turned around I'm back again

Finding I'm a lost and found when she's not around
When she's not around I feel it coming down

Give me what I could never ask for
Connect me and you could be my chemical NOW

Give me the drug you know I'm after
Connect me and you could be my chemical

'Slow Chemical' - Finger Eleven

Long live that day that I decided to fly from the inside

Night

i have three elements to my night. the stillness, a breeze, and you. an empty canvas stretching away in the darkness of time, to be filled by the solitude of the night's silence, fuelled by a gust of hope in the name of a breeze, followed by the firm yet gentle touch of your hand on my shoulder. yes, this shoulder is big enough to carry all your problems, as the years have told you.

lying on the ground, the black velvet dome of the night sky spattered randomly by little dots of white with ever-changing crystalline edges, an ever-growing bubble of empty thought through which memories made and memories to be made zip across like little cars with little people in them, rushing to get to their little jobs, to make little money, do little things and find little happiness. and i feel your bubble bumping mine, sometimes urging and sometimes asking. sometimes it feels strange to be all alone, but not quite alone, and yet still alone.

under cover of darkness, your eyes bore into mine, and mine into yours, asking questions that were never meant to be asked. and from your voice, and the way your lips feel on mine, and the curve of your cheek against my palm, i wonder what your face is like. the words you say trickle and gather in my mind, and sparkle like light spring rain puddling on dry, cracked earth. your hands meet happily around my back, your head blissfully resting on my chest. in the tranquil vigil of a hushed night, your spellbound breathing matches my becalmed pulse, a lone drummer playing his metronomic mezzo-staccato beat.

after the glaring accusations that daylight points at us, we seek refuge in night's folds, starcrossed by the anxious, probing eyes of those who bear us ill-will. in the detachment of the darkness, when we walk down the dusty streets, winds whistle our names in rebel songs. and though the sounds of the night should make us anxious, it's really much too late when the fear is gone. often we fight, wary that our bubbles not get too close, yet even more often we hold each other close, content in the seclusion of night that we are afforded everyday.

in the appraising light of day we try not to be judgemental, and accept that we are what we are. the aura around you envelops me in a very different lustre during the day. the beguiling approach of sunset comes as a pain balm soaking through the dull, lifeless pain. and by the time night has completely covered the proceedings, we hold each other close, and smile again. i kiss you a gentle goodnight, and lay back to look into the obsidian quartz sky, your arm on my chest, the scent of your floral shampoo filling my bubble, our hearts talking to each other in a hitherto unknown pulse language, making up for another day gone by in almost anarchic indecision.

2006 Pontiac Solstice

i want this car. i don't care what anyone thinks. i want this car. today (tomorrow will be fine, too)

odds & ends

Dave Chappelle says he's just on a spiritual retreat.. the press say he's admitted himself into a mental institution.. Comedy Central remain tightlipped.. well, whatever it is, i gotta say that the most outspoken man on TV today certainly has to get his act together.. and soon! the first two seasons of Chappelle's Show are such big hits that his bosses at Comedy Central threw together a $50 million package to keep him for the third season.. and now this..

Kylie Minogue diagnosed with early stage breast cancer?! i tell you there is no justice in this world sometimes! one of the finest pair of boobies around, and they might have to go under the knife! aargh!! she will probably undergo surgery some time this week in fact. does anyone remember that Agent Provocateur lingerie commercial?! ohhh mama!!

so JP Morgan Chase have come up with some new technology for their credit cards.. well, it's about time too.. cos my Chase credit card is the least used and yet has the most wonky magnetic strip i've ever seen.. refusing to swipe in zillions of places! strange how they say that the non-contact system sounds like a good idea, but i wonder why it took them so long to come up with this - just implanting a supermarket-product-type barcode in the strip would have had the same result!!

quite a few bands have new albums forthcoming this summer.. some singles are already out, and by all indications, we're in for another hard rocking summer ahead!
- Audioslave - 'Out Of Exile' (out on May 24th)
- Coldplay - 'X&Y' (out on June 7th)
- Foo Fighters - 'In Your Honor' (out on June 14th)
- Limp Bizkit - 'The Unquestionable Truth Pt.1' (out already)
- Pearl Jam - ~ (still untitled, out end of Summer '05)
- Tool - ~ (still untitled, out end of Summer '05)
- System Of A Down - 'Mezmerize' (first half of a double album out, part 2 'Hypnotize' out in Fall '05)
- Seether - 'Karma & Effect' (out on May 24th)

where's the party at?!

thus came to an end a whole series of Graduation parties.. some with friends and some with family, some wild fun and some not so, some good food and some good alcohol, some pretty babes and some seedy joints, some sheer happiness and some laidback bliss.. and we rouse ourselves from stupor/slumber/sloth and ask: "where's the party at?!"

what's next some ask.. well, there's lots left to still do -

• finish the report for a summer training


• finish the research i'm working on


• write and finish the MS thesis


• apply for OPT (Optional Practical Training)


• finish sending out resumes


• cross my fingers and wait for a couple of interview calls

so as you can see, lots to do, and there's so much more to do with summer rolling around.. rock concerts, downtown ambles, pub crawls, road trips, smoky barbecues, moonlit serenades.. have a great summer y'all!! "where's the party at?!"

No Excuses

It's alright, There comes a time
Got no patience to search, For peace of mind
Layin' low, Want to take it slow
No more hiding or Disguising truths I've sold

Everyday it's something.. Hits me all so cold
Find me sittin' by myself.. No excuses that I know

It's okay, Had a bad day
Hands are bruised from, Breaking rocks all day
Drained and blue, I bleed for you
You think it's funny, well You're drowning in it too

Yeah, it's fine, We'll walk down the line
Leave our rain, a cold Trade for warm sunshine
You my friend, I will defend
And if we change, well I Love you anyway

"No Excuses" - Alice In Chains ('Jar Of Flies')

@ home @ sunset

it's been a hot day, but the evening warmth of the setting sun is refreshing in its subtlety. the fading glare soft enough to not cause eyes to squint. i'm pleasantly tired, the kind that lets me settle into a dreamless state of floating aimlessly through empty space, gently brushing past patient supernovae and deftly swerving around cranky black holes. away towards the endless horizon the mesmerising curve of the sun's orb melts and flows over the uneven saw-toothed hills in the horizon. the invisible plasma of sunlight coursing and cascading down the hot rocks and dry scrub dotting the hillside, sometimes gurgling in recessed hollows, and sometimes gushing down bare slopes. the colour in my mind is a satisfied burnished orange, fading to darkness.

i sit back in this wooden chair, on the porch of this log farmhouse. put my feet up on the low railing, and let my eyes wander around the rolling plains in front of me. it's good to be here, at home at sunset.


i always found the word 'horizon' reminding me of 'arizona' whenever i thought of sunsets and deserts and Westerns.. i wonder what arizona is really like? bd.. nina.. help me out here :-)

the 'brownies' graduate!!

the deed is done!

Saurabh, B.Tech (Hons), M.S. Mechanical Engineering

a very heartfelt and sincere thank you to all who helped me in the pursuit of this goal.

the day is here

yessss, today is the day! commencement/graduation/convocation.. whatever you wanna call it! it does signify yet another step taken towards getting out of grad school! see you all later :-)

wild things

oh man.. what a day (and night) we had yesterday.. it was a quite appropriate farewell, for what might be one the last few times we ride together as the 'brownies'! :-))

neil came in the night before last.. so we rented a car and spent a good part of the day at the Niagara Falls.. there was a nip in the air thanks to the windchill, but it was a sparkling clear day, and the sun was nice and warm too.. we then went to the Outlet Mall in Niagara Falls, did some shopping, spent some hardearned money on clothes.. after all summer is here, and new rags are always required to usher in the season!

had passed by a sporting goods store, and we were playing around with the golf clubs in the little putting green and then the driving room.. excellent sport this, golf.. a bit slow for my taste, and i wasn't sure whether if i played it to relax, if i would really be relaxed, or even more frustrated cos dammit sometimes you just miss the cup, and end up ping-ponging your way all around the green!

went to the Anchor Bar at night.. and pigged out on buffalo wings like crazy!! between the six of us we went through a bucket (50) of hot wings, and a double (20) of suicidal wings! i'm not kidding, they are actually called suicidal!! those are some of the hottest and spiciest little buggers ever! we sweated like crazy, and all we could see around the table were red ears, and steam hissing out of them!

moved on to 777 Aero Drive, Mademoiselle's to be more precise, at midnight.. it was one of the better days since there were just enough people to keep the girls coming down the ramp.. it actually is one of the top 5 clubs in the US, and considering we have it right in our backyard, it's not bad at all! the music, decor and surroundings are definitely very upmarket.. however, as stereotypes go, some of the girls did look jaded, the music does matter, black lingerie does always rule, and blondes definitely do have more fun! ;-))

all in all.. it was a wild night (i have a hangover now the size of a hangar!).. but the graduation party has just begun.. so grab your toothbrush and a change of clothing, and 33 Heath is where it's at people!!

faint whisper of a doubt

sometimes.. sometimes, i am so grateful for what i have done, what i have.. that the slightest, such a faint whisper, as if a feather of time had brushed past your procrastinating cheek (yeesh, what insolence!!).. and tells me of the pressing guilt i bear, the infinite sadness i carry, that i couldn't be all that i could have been..

I never wanted to be anybody's anything.. Anything at all

'Rocket Science' - The Pimps

malcontent

adj.
Dissatisfied with existing conditions.

n.
One who rebels against the established system: e.g
“immature malcontents who have long since sold out to conformity” (John M. Wilson).

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

alas

an illusion shattered, glass shards flying out from the point of impact, a crown of crystal winged blades arrowing out in a perfect, evergrowing circle.
the long-believed myth dispelled as an errant fly settling upon the face of time, by the flywhisk of fear that dominates our almost mythical existences.
the hope held up by idol (idle?) worship scorched in the searing, exssicating fires of reality, deceptively draw, only to singe and burn wantonly.

summer days

ahh, finally the days of summer are here.. it was a nice and warm day.. hit 70 too! yes yes, i know that it's almost freezing as compared to where most of you are, but that's buffalo for you.

sank is back from sunny florida with his parents.. the house is filling up fast now! vip took his friends to the niagara falls, the walkway is still being rebuilt, might be done by this weekend. i thought it was quite criminal to spend the day lying around, and even more criminal to sit in the lab!

it's gonna be quite impossible to concentrate and get any work done this week.. the party mood has infiltrated every corner of 33H.. we're doing a barbecue tomorrow, and then neil jets in wednesday evening.. triggering off a fresh round of partying.. whew, seeya!

Graduation Week begins

lots to be happy about this weekend.. firstly and most importantly, the prodigal son returned from baltimore.. step up to the plate vipul!! ;-)) in his new and quieter (and slightly chubbier!) avatar.. a couple of his friends from milwaukee - namita and rahul - drove down for the weekend too.

we had absolutely amazing weather this weekend, and we took advantage and had a huge barbecue on sunday. tandoori chicken, hot dogs and baked potatoes.. lots of drinkable beer and smokable stuff.. warm, windless spring day.. cricket in the backyard.. yes, this was one of the perfect weekends! vip, arul, nats, mal, ash, gaurav, azmi, jason, namita and rahul.. quite a party!

now if you ask why all the hullabaloo about the weekend.. that's cos it marks the beginning of commencement week, with graduation day being on 14th May. most of us have family coming down, which does put a bit of a damper on our plans for wild and crazy partying.. so we decided to start a tad bit earlier!! congrats to all of you people graduating.. and in my case.. how the hell do people like me make it through grad school relatively unscathed?! there must be a severe glitch in the education system!!

finally for those of you who have been asking about my cooking exploits, or lack thereof in the last couple of weeks.. well, i've been quite busy working hard all day, sleeping hard all night, and partying hard all weekend!!

so i found out that the cost of the graduation black gown, the mortarboard headgear and the tassel costs some $55 in total! now i know all of you out there love me to bits and are so glad that i am graduating, knowing that all the hard work i have put in has come to fruition, and the blood and sweat i have put in shall be returned to me in milk and honey.. (actually could i change that to beer and chicken instead?!)

anyways, getting back to the point.. so please feel free to contribute generously to this year's Saurabh's Graduation Fund.. from which costs incurred for the upcoming week's celebrations and festivities shall be borne. your unstinting and unobligated support and contributions shall be fondly thought of and remembered unfailingly! in fact we shall definitely toast you, and wish you all success in life too! :-)

for PayPal contributions, make payments out to soraymech@yahoo.com, and for other forms of donations, including cash, cheque, strippers, beer, cigarettes, dope and food, contact me directly at yeahbaby@gmail.com. once again, thank you very very much, and have a great week ahead!

sentiment

"The thing with feelings, is they have a quiet way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it."

Jude Law, in 'Alfie'

for the boyz of RSF

hey gang.. i guess this year the RSF Reunion® isn't happening.. which is a true shame, but hey, that's life.. here's to hoping that one day we'll have a reunion like the farewell we had in kgp.. but stay not in denial, be not in shame.. we rocked!!

abi - last time last summer was great.. raise a toast to the gang next time you party
arul - the brains of the gang.. i know you really wanted this reunion, soon.. maybe
bunty - all the best with your new life at your new job
grg - here's a toast to your wedding.. be happy, and keep ani happy too
koshman - dude, we miss you so much that no reunion is the same without you
pinku - we are still gonna drink a few 24-packs yet.. have no fear
shavi - still haven't seen you totally wasted.. still time though
sv - you fuckin' frog! ditch your shack-in gf for a minute to remember the old times

take care boyz, and best wishes for your lives ahead.. i leave you with a few words that apply to all of us in some way or the other

We chase misprinted lies, We face the path of time
And yet I fight, And yet I fight
This battle all alone
No one to cry to, No place to call home

My gift of self is raped, My privacy is raked
And yet I find, And yet I find
Repeating in my head
If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead

'Nutshell' - Alice In Chains

gotcha!!

A:SAURABH! > mkdir results03-20
A:SAURABH! > cd results03-20
A:SAURABH! > run expt.exe
A:SAURABH! > USER AUTHENTICATION FAILURE!
A:SAURABH! > you what?! i'm the only guy using this, damn you!!
A:SAURABH! > ERROR! ERROR!
A:SAURABH! > help
A:SAURABH! > CORE DUMPED! CORE DUMPED!
A:SAURABH! > goddamned mo*&#%fu^$@

A:SAURABH! > mkdir results03-29
A:SAURABH! > cd results03-29
A:SAURABH! > run expt.exe
A:SAURABH! > NO FILE FOUND!
A:SAURABH! > what the f*^% do you mean no file found you stupid &*%$^$#
A:SAURABH! > ERROR! ERROR!

A:SAURABH! > mkdir results04-14
A:SAURABH! > cd results04-14
A:SAURABH! > run expt.exe
A:SAURABH! >
A:SAURABH! >
A:SAURABH! >
A:SAURABH! > hello?!
A:SAURABH! > ERROR! ERROR!

A:SAURABH! > mkdir results04-21
A:SAURABH! > cd results04-21
A:SAURABH! > run expt.exe
A:SAURABH! > ERROR! ERROR!

A:SAURABH! > mkdir results05-05
A:SAURABH! > cd results05-05
A:SAURABH! > run expt.exe
A:SAURABH! > FILE RUN SUCCESSFUL!
A:SAURABH! > hah!! who's your daddy now eh?! biaaaatch!!
A:SAURABH! > ERROR! ERROR!

Fawlty Towers, Woodstock, NY

definitely one of my more eccentric dreams for quite some time!! the famous Fawlty Towers, the inn-keeper comedy sitcom starring John Cleese has always been one of my favourite Brit-comedies, and i immensely enjoyed playing the Spanish waiter Manuel in it in my college drama days. so in the crazy dream i had last night, we were playing this particular episode, where Manuel is at his eloquent, hyperactive best.

the strange thing was that in the dream, the stage was in Woodstock, NY.. during the original Woodstock Festival in 1969!! and of course, the other roles were played by some legendary rockstars.. i distinctly remember Jimi Hendrix playing the role of Lord Melbury, Sybil Fawlty by Janis Joplin and Basil Fawlty acted by, who else.. Jim Morrison! (who famously did not play at Woodstock), i don't seem to remember anyone else though.. though i distinctly recall being stoned during the performance! (of course!)

NB: morbid coincidence.. all three people mentioned above died when they were 27!! for all means and purposes i have eight months left!! there's a good reason why i never took up music!

(no title as such)

had one of those nightmare starts today.. awoke at around 5ish, i knew i'd had a pretty bad dream, cos i was all thirsty and my pulse was thumping the driving beat of The Crystal Method's 'Weapons Of Mad Distortion', i managed to drop back off to sleep.. and my eyes then opened at 8.21 when arul knocked on my door, and 0.417 seconds later it hit me i was supposed to have opened the library at 8 a.m.! to my credit, the library was open at 8.30, while i was brushing my teeth ;-)!!

so when you start off a day like that, you know the odds of things working out your way all day are pretty much slimmer than Victoria's Secret Angel alessandra ambrosio here

as predicted, it was a pretty dreary day at work.. though ever since i started laying off the YM at work, i've been able to proceed much better with my literature review for the thesis. went to the lab after work and set up my experiments.. after weeks of foreplay i can finally get to it tomorrow! yes, tomorrow me and my infra-red microscope get it on!! i'll turn it on, we'll talk, then i'll press all the right buttons and we'll make beautiful music together, and once its come through with the results, i'm gonna roll over and fall asleep ;-)!! LOL!!

o ye weather gods.. you might think that all my ranting and raving is of no use, but trust me.. you shall suffer in your climatic heavens!! i have had it now with these frost alerts and zero degree windchills!! in open defiance of your obstinacy, i shall pack away my jackets, and warm jerseys.. summer collection comes out, ready or not! (i guess i shall have to keep my decongestant spray handy too!)

autobiographical, really?!

last week Salman Rushdie raised a very interesting issue, and what he said went along the lines of:
oftentimes people ask me what a story i have written is about. usually, people like to assume it's about you, even if it is obviously not. so the honest answer to when people ask if it is autobiographical is that "no, it is not."
however, the correct answer is to say "yes, it is" and then sit back and watch the collective chorus of gasps and sighs and what-nots. because no matter how imaginative/creative a piece you write, people will always want to believe that it's about you, or someone you know, or even worse, they figure it's about them!!

sometimes i write, then i look at the post and think to myself.. "my my, this is so gonna get misinterpreted!!".. and i wonder if i should change it, or make it more clear that it's not about what it looks like, but then i would not be true to myself, or my writing. the worst part i feel is writing a post, then having to write an explanation under it - that's terrible.

so, i would like to categorically state here that if ever i want to mention someone in the blog, i will do so by name. most of what i write carries double-entendre, it's how i deal with words and sentences. and usually if you read everything with a smile on your face and humor on your mind, then you will get both meanings too! take it easy, and have a great day, _________ (enter your name here)

just a thought

isn't it strange how we still look for custom-made things in a world full of off-the-shelf products, and even stranger that we carry that mentality over to how we lead our lives too?!

the offensive screen

American Football has this particularly efficient set of moves called 'The Screen Package'.. usually when a team wants to rush defenses into making hasty decisions.. there are a variety of screens to choose from.

The success of the offense depends on calling the right screen(1.) against the defensive matchup. With the wide receiver(2.) screens(1.), it is a simple execution play and a lot depends on the ability of the wide receiver(2.) to run after the catch. The big positive in screens is that they are basically simple to execute and provide the quarterback(3.) with the chance for a big play against an attacking defense(4.).

1.) screen - weekly surprise meeting *[surprise cos every week i'm surprised yet another week has passed!]
2.) wide receiver - research results
3.) quarterback - yours truly!
4.) defense - yours truly's advisor!!

Thanks to Football 101, by ESPN Coach Bob Davie.

free the world / save thought

disenchanting discourses on disbelieving disillusionment
i'm talking empty talking hollow talking tonight
in the moment i'm losing my head in my head
harboring feelings designed to make me high
the singularity drives and it talks of freedom
sanity is being politically correct in its description
the words string together like confused confetti
luminescent letters glow dimly over thought bleeding away

and we'll then think that all these big discussions
properly conducted that supposedly soothe eager psyches
though not in vain but subsequently of no obvious use
this enlightening surge of thought and its revolution
and the fire of sunset shall settle like burning embers
when the clock behind me stops, dead beyond destruction
i'll look at me, you'll all look at you, we'll cry decibels
but there's one thing that we'll all say again and again

"look where all this talking got us baby..??"

From a random CH.21 correspondent - 1

the thing about sunrise is that watching it gives one a mildly disquieting feeling, the way light's rays get splayed against the dark foreboding sky just before dawn like pink lancets slicing up a thick, rich, dark chocolate mousse. the sense of surprise comes because of the greatest ease with which the once-imposing darkness is banished for another twelve hours or so to hide in its dark cave of night.

doesn't it fill you with a sense of wonder, the power of light? and on a similar note, the dark force of the darkness? it is like they trade each day for how much time of the twenty four hours that we have in a day? every minute is fought over by these two gladiators of the sky, thus determining how much of the day that night and daylight get each. and in a cycle, there are times when each power is in its ascendancy, and sometimes in its stability, and sometimes it is so fallible that we wonder if it will survive. in summer daylight is strong, and vanquishes dark night for longer periods, yet night manages to hold its own. then in fall, as daylight tires, night starts to recover. by the time we are in deepest darkest winter, we wonder if light shall ever prevail again.and then you can become so miserable, and cold, and lost. and just when you can take it no more, and your mind starts imploding like a dying cosmos.. there come flashes of warm light. and spring comes in like a white knight on a brilliant white steed trimmed with gold. strong again, ready to do battle.

but do step into the darkness sometime. let that engulf you for a bit. feel the courage to let go of yourself, and your mind in it. explore the possible paths in your mind. it will only serve you better to rejoice in the fact that you are fuelling yourself to stay positive with the very thing that you once feared. maybe that will lead you to appreciate each day and each night even more.

this has been your neighbourhood CH.21 correspondent, have a good day.. and night!