30 Questions with The Outlaw Torn

30 things i have been asked about 2004:

1. What did you do in 2004 that you’d never done before?
travelled to lots of places in the US, delved into biomaterials for my MS thesis.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
my birthday comes immediately after New Year's, giving me no chance to keep them!! but seriously, i don't bother making resolutions.. when i wanna change i go ahead and change!

3. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
a completed draft of my thesis.. a patent/paper on my research.. a job after graduation too would be just fine!!

4. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
successfully juggling a totally hedonistic lifestyle, cutting-edge research work, lots of travelling, strenuous on-campus job, great grades on courses, pretty decent health and an excellent social life! *desperately looking for some wood to touch!! ahh, here's some*

5. What was your biggest failure?
don’t think i had any big failures as such this year, but i did fail in myriad small ways - losing my temper, being moody and sulking, being too trusting of complete strangers!! not being able to secure financial aid for my second year was definitely a big one.

6. Did you suffer illness or injury?
thank God no!! i did get hit by a SUV, and was a little sore and pissed off about that though!

7. What was the best thing you bought?
definitely my Compaq Presario 2500 laptop!! though the digital camera is gonna run it close too!

8. Whose behavior merited celebration?
definitely all my friends and family who put up with me! i would wanna mention all the soldiers the world over who got sent into wars not of their own making, and stuck their heads down and got on with their duties. also, the Buffalo Bills and UB Bulls for their spirited playoff runs!

9. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
all the politicians, the world over *grrr*

10. Where did most of your money go?
see #4 above!!

11. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
the Metallica concert in October!

12. What song will always remind you of 2004?
'Yeah' - Usher.. that goddamn song was everywhere!! Seether's 'Driven Under' was very close to me.

13. Compared to this time last year, you are:
definitely more relaxed and chilled out. things are going well, yeah :-))

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
gone clubbing more.. travelled out of buffalo more.. a little more gymming.. eaten more buffalo wings.. basically, i wish i'd made/saved more money :-((

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
well, honestly.. nothing!! i try to live a regret-free life!

16. What was your favorite TV program?
M*A*S*H!! dunno how i got addicted to watching a bunch of jaded drunks in Korea '52, mending soldiers and having a hilarious time doing it!!

17. What was the best book you read?
okay.. i am ashamed to say that i have barely read anything this year that is thicker than a glossy magazine with a hot chick draped on its cover! but i would have to go with 'The Handbook Of Biomaterials Evaluation' edited by Dr. A.F. von Recum (dont laugh, that IS his name!).. and its not the best book i read all year, it's the ONLY book i read all year!

18. What was your greatest musical discovery?
definitely ambient chillout music.. especially the downtempo stuff. go to shoutcast for the most comprehensive net radio database.. type 'ambient' in the search bar, and just click to listen!

19. What did you want and get?
well, the laptop and dig-cam i already mentioned, and complete CD collections of Metallica, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, Pearl Jam & Godsmack.

20. What did you want and not get?
financial aid/research funding.. an XBox/PS 2/GameCube.. an mp3-player (not necessarily an i-Pod).. Playboy Miss August Pilar Lastra..*sigh*

21. What was your favorite film of this year?
three.. in this order: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Garden State & The Hero.

22. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
haha! ate, drank and slept!! i had just turned 25 and got completely wasted to mark a fitting end to my first quarter century!

23. What one thing did you get told the most this year?
"my place or yours?"!! haha, i wish!! but i guess "you're crazy!!" would be it!

24. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
i'm your regular jeans n' tshirt guy.. i just happen to have some ten pairs of jeans, and some fifty tshirts ;-)) (brands? Old Navy, Aeropostale & Gap!) it was really great knowing i could go for research meetings in a soccer tshirt, cargo shorts and hiking sandals!

25. What kept you sane?
the usual suspects.. Brownie gang, RSF gang, Potsmokers Inc., Budweiser/Molson/Yuengling Breweries, Camel Lights, buffalo wings & pizza from Just Pizza, homecooked food, Third Base, and walking around University Heights stoned senseless!

26. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
well, when i replace 'fancy' with 'lust after'.. then Tara Reid and Pilar Lastra will have to fight it out! yeah, chick-fight!! but it was nice to see one of the ordinary guys make it big - Zach Braff, star of 'Scrubs' on tv and the film 'Garden State'.

27. What political issue stirred you the most?
being in the US during election year, it would have to be the presidential elections!

28. Who did you miss?
honestly speaking, no one in particular. i am very close to my parents, but i don't really miss them as such.. and we do speak like once a month.. which works just fine for all! as for my friends, we know we will meet up again.. still lots of alcohol to be drunk and plantations to be smoked!!

29. Who was the best new person you met?
definitely definitely my advisor Dr. Robert E. Baier! i have never met a smarter, more intelligent, genial person! he absolutely rocks, having been a frat boy of some repute in his time too!!

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
hmm.. more than learned, 2004 just reaffirmed what i have always believed: "live life well", and "no one is more important to you than yourself".

Highlights of 2004

these are my 'Highlights Of The Year 2004'.. i tried to keep them down to three-a-month!
(NB: i avoided the low points, i'd rather not think about them!)

January -
- florida for the first time
- Linkin Park, POD in concert
- changing my research focus to biomaterials

February -
- Godsmack in concert
- 36 hour drinking binge in columbus
- playing football in the snow

March -
- i got a digital camera
- going to NYC the first time
- winter hiking in the Adirondacks

April -
- successfully finishing another semester
- the summer party binge starts
- cracking my first interview for an internship

May -
- florida again! yes!!
- barbecuing on the balcony at 55T
- first poster presentation at a conference

June -
- Nickelback, 3 Doors Down & Puddle of Mudd in concert
- i got my laptop
- started blogging!

July -
- Thursdays At The Square concert series
- Linkin Park, Korn in concert
- Seether, Evanescence, Three Days Grace in concert

August -
- moving in with my best buddies
- the alcohol-fuelled RSF reunion in Buffalo
- road trip to Baltimore, Washington and Blacksburg

September -
- getting stoned at 33H
- getting stoned at 87M
- getting stoned. period

October -
- Metallica, Godsmack in concert
- breakthrough in my research
- cricket in the backyard

November -
- gourmet cooking, while stoned!
- working on our 'inventions'
- Aussie Pink Floyd in concert

December -
- the new girl in my life :-)
- finishing the last courses for my MS - yay!
- latest breakthrough in my research

yup, it's been a very full and fun year!! Happy New Year everyone!!

random thoughts

if you have been a regular reader of this blog.. you will notice that i steadfastly avoid talking much about current affairs and other news items. people have been asking me how come i didn't mention the recent tsunami disaster in the blog. well, honestly, this is the last place people will come to read about it! my prayers and best wishes go out to all affected, and i will donate some money to the disaster relief fund.. but there is little else i can do about it here, except buck up and go on with life.

talking about life.. i cannot help but be starkly reminded of the frailty of life. and especially in the case of a tsunami, early warning is probably your only chance if you live in the coastal and low-lying areas. of course, very few of the Third-World countries have such systems in place.. so most of the dead and affected had no idea what was about to hit them. nearly five years into the third millenium, and still half the world goes to sleep wondering if they'll be alive the next morning! yeesh, that's why i hate writing about issues like this.. it's tough to write two lines without being outraged!!

DC++ must be the best P2P ever created!! where else would i get downloads at 3 Mbps?! yes, rub your eyes and sit up straight!! 3 Mbps!! that's movies in under 5 minutes!! all of you on college LANs.. find out what your local hub address is, and tap into this!!

winter can be depressing most of the times, but a spell out in the bracing wind steels the resolve and girds the loins, or so to speak!(it does get pretty chilly down there!!) i finally made it to the lab today after a six-day weekend, and it felt good to be away, and felt equally good to be back too.. i love my work! for more geek-speak look for my other blog ;-))

buffalo is catching playoffs fever! the city really loves the Buffalo Bills, and is never afraid to show it.. and with the Red Sox finally winning the World Series, we carry the tag of 'Most-Jinxed Team in American Sport'.. but make no mistake.. we love our team! and if we do make the playoffs, then it will be very hard to stop the juggernaut reaching jacksonville for the SuperBowl!! Go Bills, BILLIEVE!! :-))

road

the road is a strip of black, stretching away endlessly into nothingness. yet we walk on, into a blank future. it's like tomorrow is a whiteboard, stark and empty. and today, we seek here and there, for a marker, any colour.. to write something on this board. everyone wants to make a mark. someone wants to write his name, someone wants her picture on the board. you and i, we're different. we're the serene few that seek nothing from life. in these halcyon days, if you let us be we will let all be. blissfully we walk on.. reaping what time has given us. eternal youth. and even time cannot take that away from us, nor society, nor death. inside us burns that immortal lamp, the flame of nirvana. forever young, forever alive. and we walk on.

i look around the sides of the road. desolation. a parched earth with cracks criss-crossing it, as if in a silent scream to the skies above, a noiseless cry for life-giving water. that is us, always seeking external divination, praying for some miracle. and rain it does, but the rain is different for all. some get joy from the twin-lights of arts and science, others are blessed with divine bliss. some take respite in intoxication, preferring to voluntarily cut the chords that tie them down. and yet others barge on, mindless that there may be something to life after all. higher than the motor functions of eating, reproducing and dying. i shake my head and grit my teeth, determined to walk on.

every time i feel i'm losing my focus, i see you. framed against the evil skyline, your innocent profile. and yet the wicked wind dares not blow closer. the two of us together vanquish all ahead of us. the harsh sun softens as it falls on your face, and it fuels your smile. you have an honest smile, as your lips pucker at the ends. a pearl glow glints out of a corner, and i raise a finger to touch you. the supple skin on your cheeks. my finger traces the curve of your lip, and a naughty tooth nips my fingertip. you burst out laughing at the sudden look of consternation on my face! its a rich, happy laugh. a laugh that tells how much you live life, and watch sadly how others trudge and stumble through it. and yet, right at the end of the laugh, almost unnoticeable, was a sigh. a sharp gust of breath. yes, it is a sigh. a sigh that speaks of undreamed dreams, and unperceived pain. alas, angst has reared it's head in this hard-earned earthly paradise.

what does angst look like? what does your angst look like? when you close your eyes, what colour lashes out at your eyelids, as you stare at the blackness inside? violence and anger scream red, but black is feigning dead. drugs and alcohol throw yellow, but blue is a dull glow. but you force your eyes open, telling yourself to live. willing yourself to live. for there is no one as important to you in your life as yourself. and we talk, and we walk.

and throughout the walk of life, are flashes of brilliance. you are my brilliance. you see me staring at you, and you burst out giggling. then shyly you come closer, snuggling your pert little nose against my shoulder. i breathe in your scent. the hint of jasmine in your hair. the touch of cream on your cheeks. the tang of salt and the sweet of honey. curling locks blow into my face, and streak across my eyes. they tame the glare of the sun. your fingers are interlocked behind my back. i can feel all ten fingers pressed against my shirt. you feel secure, and i feel strong. i try to talk but i can't seem to form words to say, i try to walk but i can't seem to find legs to stay.

so we walk on, perfectly happy, and probably about to be perfectly hurt sooner or later. nothing lasts forever, and we all die young. but despite all that we walk on, having learned what we have, that we should set the controls for the heart of the sun.

r & r

rest and relaxation.. that's what this weekend was for. all i did this weekend was eat, drink and sleep. from friday until monday. excellent. at this rate i won't be going to the lab at all before i leave for india!!

no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills!! the playoffs charge rolls on.. hapless San Francisco being the latest victims.. 41-7!! beware, here come the Bills!!

thank you everyone for your good wishes for the holiday season, and here's wishing you all a very Happy Holidays too :-))

Merry Christmas!!

yay beer!!

do you see people on television or in the streets.. standing with banners, shouting slogans? did you ever wonder what the cause that they were championing was? did that make you feel like you should also have something to support? well, here is your chance! protest against the mistreatment of beer!! stand up and be heard, without actually standing up and being heard!! join us at Beer Drinkers Against The Mistreatment Of Beer!! even non-beer drinkers can join in!! though i must say i am mystified why anyone would not drink beer.. hmm!

i ♥ winter

this is winter as i like it..

i'm loving this winter so far.. my research is going great, i got a big payrise at work, things are stable on the personal front, i go on a month's sabbatical soon.. what else could a man want?

eternal sunshine of the spotted mind

so often i wake up and find myself playing and replaying scenes in my life.. oft-repeated scenes that keep popping up like damned internet explorer ads.. and they are usually as irritating as well.. cos they are scenes disintegrating, falling apart, crumbling away in my mind.. only to be replaced by newer, similar scenes, and the faces are different, the walls look different, the light outside shines with a different intensity, a different hue.. it's a different time..

maybe i am a different person too.. maybe i am not the ENTP outgoing character i am.. maybe i am that too.. ohh! it's a different shadow, but the same me. my shadow-brother, my alter-ego. i want to name him. and only one name comes to mind, immediately, naturally.. Calvin. the other me is a calvin. so who is calvin then? angst is calvin. calvin is dark. my hero is calvin. calvin fuels me.

take a moment off from whatever you are doing. you might be at work, or at home, or at school.. but be with me on this one. sit back and relax. i quote:

"We're gonna need your help, and your permission,
and so we need you to find a comfortable space,
that is not only comfortable, but vulnerable.
I want you to shut your eyes and go there,
and we'll meet you on the other side.."

now think about yourself. think about only yourself. now think about what you are, where you came from and where you wanna go. think about that. take a minute or two, and think about that.

here we are again. now i want you to think about the person that is really inside of you.. that pushes and prods you, drives you on, urges you forward. the person inside you who you hate so much yet you love to be. think about what that person makes you do. think about that person. that is the other you. talk to him, or her.. as the case might be. stay in touch with that person.. that is your life.

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finally watched Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, and it was worth every moment of the wait.. i have never felt such a sense of oneness, after watching a film. it really sets you thinking. its a movie that when its over.. you have two kinds of audience.. firstly - those who it just bounced off.. they're the ones looking around picking their coats and looking for their keys and cell phones.. and then there's the other kind.. who totally understood the movie.. and are wrestling with their grey cells wondering what it all meant.. they're the ones who are still sitting there, not minding the people stepping on their toes in their vain bids to beat the rush out.. they stare blankly, interrupted.. watching the credits roll up.. and the names are just long white strings against a dark background.. those are the people the director has communicated with.

honestly

i give you a quote to think about.. bonus points if anyone can guess the origin:

"what is love, but a wound.. that neither lets you live, nor die."

which band are you?

Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band
Created by naw5689 and taken 1917 times on bzoink!
Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:	NIRVANA
Are you male or female:	'Son Of A Gun'
Describe yourself:	'Smells Like Teen Spirit'
How do some people feel about you:	'Come As You Are'
How do you feel about yourself:	'In Bloom'
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:	'About A Girl'
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:	'Heart-shaped Box'
Describe where you want to be:	'Plateau'
Describe what you want to be:	'The Man Who Sold The World'
Describe how you live:	'Aneurysm'
Describe how you love:	'Dumb'
Share a few words of wisdom	'Something In The Way'
Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

it's pretty easy to make one for your blog too.. just got to www.bzoink.com, register for free.. and search for any survey you want (or make one!), and it will give you the code for it.. i got this one from Beth's blog, and its by naw5689.. enjoy!!

damn!! it's cold!!

wow, it had dropped down to -28°C on sunday night! that is cold, very cold. mind-numbingly cold. when you breathe it hurts. the steam you breathe comes back and freezes your nose. a hint of wind sets off little freezing hurricanes that spiral and twist around, looking for any cracks or gaps in your outer jacket. when you walk, tears stream out of your eyes, only to freeze on your cheeks. your ears are not part of your body anymore, and you feel like a quick flick would knock them clean off. exposed flesh freezes solid in 30 minutes. we tried playing football in this, without gloves, just for kicks.. a couple of perfectly spiralled touchdown passes later.. my fingers were white as bone.. and i could not feel my keys to pull them out of my pocket to open the door. for those who have never felt such extreme cold before, it is scary.. those of you who have felt it, you know how scary it is!

we had an early christmas dinner together last night.. since people were gonna be leaving starting today.. i made mutton-saag, which is mutton chunks cooked in a dark gravy, with diced spinach leaves in the blend. that, along with nats's pav-bhaji made people forget all about the winter outside!!

evolution

was just reading some posts from summer this year, some five months ago.. and one cannot help but notice the change in blogging style.. i seem to have matured in my writing ability too, but that still stands to be proved ;-))

the posts then looked more concerned in reporting what happened, as a memoir for me to look back on i guess.. these days they look more abstract.. dealing more with concepts, feelings and emotions.. the effort-pleasure priciple.. using the minimum amount of effort possible to attain the maximum amount of comfort and satisfaction :-)) below i'm gonna write two descriptions of this weekend.. see the difference for yourself, which is which..

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what an absolutely awesome weekend.. friday night we got a bucket of wings, and settled for a movie fest.. watched 'Hero'.. which aesthetically and cinematographically was one of the best movies ever made.. some scenes in it just stopped your breath dead in your lungs.. mindblowing! but otherwise it was a difficult movie to understand.. definitely very well-made though. then we couldn't settle on any one movie and changed around a lot before we all settled to sleep..

saturday was for shopping.. for the upcoming trip to india.. wedding in the family entails getting something or the other for every member of the clan!! ash, mal, nats, sank and i went to the outlet mall, then on to kmart, target, and babies r' us.. ash is flying out on monday morning to india.. mal's off to california.. nats is flying to india next weekend.. sank, arul, vip n' i are supposed to be going to NYC from the 30th to the 2nd of jan.. then i go to india on the 10th.

i bought loads and loads of stuff, as did everyone actually!! haha, shopping can be fun when there are not too many crowds and its not a wild battle, and you keep finding nice things.. we had lunch at Panda Express, which just might be my favourite chinese fast food chain.. we had even more fun after we got home and were packing all the stuff we got.. nats and sank made some awesome pasta, while i dropped by 87M and scored enough stuff to be good and high until 10th jan!! i had a personal film fest, first watching 'Kill Bill Vol. 2' then the newer 'Romeo + Juliet'..

the UB Bulls beat local rivals Canissius in a basketball grudge game.. 69-65.. it was an away game, so we couldn't go for it.. turner battle showed his class again with 20 pts, mario jordan chipped in with 12 and roderick middleton pulled down 8 rebounds.

sunday as always was football day.. the Buffalo Bills were away at Cincinnati.. this was always gonna be a tough assignment.. but we blew them away on defense and special teams play.. finally winning 33-17.. things have changed these days, Bills are on a five-win streak, averaging some 36 points.. and a lot of times there we have actually not been playing well at all.. but it's cool :-))

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arul n' i watched 'Hero'.. what excellent use of color!! each phase of the movie, and each concept was in a different color.. otherwsie it was a very straightforward theme.. but such a heavy touch of almost mythical chinese history.. i remember having commented on the samurai tradition, but chinese kung-fu is so different from that.. both are not just martial art forms, but a complete, and unique way of life.. aren't we so lucky/unlucky to be born in the generation that we are in.. we could have been anywhere in the time scale, in the world.. what an experience that would have been!! man there's gotta be a way of tapping into your own head and replaying memories, from a different time..

saturday was a long shopping marathon.. and its so difficult to put a price on friends and family, to constrain yourself to a budget when you shop for loved ones.. i dented the aspirations of at least one of my credit cards in a pretty bad way, but it's okay.. being so far away from family, and seeing them so rarely, this is the only way short of being there myself that i can do anything for them.

long since we had a session at 87M.. but that happened again, now that exams and all were over for everyone.. we got some holiday stock.. pretty exotic stuff, that definitely did not grow in the cold winter sunshine.. T was making huge-ass bong shots in the 1 litre gatorade bottle.. two, and i was good!!

quiet night at home.. had some pasta, and sank, nats and arul were playing chess.. while i was very 'happily' providing sound effects, background noise and intellectual commentary on the unfolding game :-))) it probably threw arul off his game!!

i must say i am really appreciating the finer effects of film-making so much more these days.. watched 'Kill Bill Vol. 2'.. or maybe i've watched too many of QT's movies.. but i was mentally directing every shot in that movie.. it was an awesome experience. Vol. 2 was so unlike Vol. 1, it really tested your thinking, and there was so little of the blood n' gore, yet it shone. awesome. it was very interesting how she was trained in the Shaolin Kung Fu school by her sifu Pai Mei, yet she was using a Hattori Hanzo samurai sword, a katana.. excellent fusion of two skills and lifestyles, which i mentioned previously in this post.

was still too buzzed to sleep.. but i was way too stoned to type.. hence this post was not written then!! ;-)) watched 'Romeo + Juliet' instead.. which was such a rush too! the fact that they actually managed to transplant the whole story to modern times, and they even used the dialogues from the original was just midboggling. the whole grimness that Shakespeare's original carries was replaced by the jazzy, flashy modern version.. excellently directed, excellently acted and excellently finished..

the icing on the weekend was that both the Buffalo teams won too.. UB Bulls played true to form to win, while the resurgent Buffalo Bills won their fifth on the trot.. demolishing hapless Cincinnati in their own backyard! nats was making some excellent choccie-chip cookies.. i was still stoned from last night, and a small 'refresher' shot in the morning and i was bouncing around again!! then nats baked a batch of 'brownie-special' cookies too.. and they came out absolutely mind-blowing! by the way, nats fully deserves the December award for Friend Of The Month! for all her 'accomplice to the act' activities, as well as getting me a soccer t-shirt from brazil and always having a ear free to listen to my rants, raves and complaints.. thank you sweetheart ♥!!

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angels across america

ok, now this was one show i was so glad i caught on tv!! Victoria's Secret Angels Across America is a tour of their 5 supermodels: Gisele Bundchen, Tyra Banks, Adriana Lima, Heidi Klum, and Alessandra Ambrosio .. showcasing all the stuff that only they wear best.. ;-))

the VH-1 show was a behind the scenes look at life on the road.. you'd be surprised how much their schedule is like a rock band's!!

f%#k f*@k f&^k!!

had what should be the last exam of my life on monday.. 'Polymeric Biomaterials'.. and i did what i always dreamed of doing.. went in for the paper partly drunk, partly stoned and fully hammered! whatever it is, it worked.. cos 18 minutes of warp-speed writing later, i was done!! so there i was celebrating my newly-found independence from all things graduate school-related.. when i remembered that i still had an oral exam on friday too.. but as long as the oral was not conducted over the phone by a stranger (see post on 11th Dec. for explanation!!), i knew i was gonna do okay.. so i shunted it out of my mind..

and now here i am on thursday night, 10:02 bloody p.m., i just started reading an hour or so ago, the 'Biomaterials Science of Cell-Surface Phenomena' oral exam is tomorrow afternoon.. its a one hour marathon.. a deck of roughly hundred question-cards.. you have to answer at least 25 correctly to ace it.. i had cracked a similar exam in the first part of this course last semester.. hence the overconfidence..

i'm looking at the huge pile of notes still in front of me.. all disorganised, scribbles running all over the page.. doodles, cartoons and revolutionary ideas scramble for space with the notes.. its so much more fun to read what my drink-n'-drug-addled brain can come up with during classes.. and i feel i'm gonna end my graduate school days the same way i lived all my college life.. with a bottle of beer in one hand, a cigarette dangling off my lips, thesis safely scrunched up in the back pocket of my jeans, and a huge f*%king smile on my face!! :-)

blogging revolution

so was reading Quyen's post about blogging today.. and it set me thinking.. where did this start, whose idea was it, how far has it spread?? well, everyone already knows how powerful it has become as a tool, a medium and an outlet to what must be millions of people around the world! different poeple blog for different reasons.. to each their own i guess.

Andrew Sullivan wrote a very interesting and informative decription on the blog revolution.. and credited it all to one Evan Williams. now i must admit i had never heard of him, nor had i ever tried seeing who came up with the concept.. so i googled him up.. and there he was.. blogger.com profile no.1!! he's now Blogger Program Manager at Google! funny thing there at Google was that he was sharing search results with a fine 'Single Barrel Vintage Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey'!! methinks he has really tried to keep a low profile!

so after a nifty bit of investigation using the profile #, i found out that Blogspot alone had 5,819,452 users, and growing by the minute!! how about that then?! there are loads of other blog services too.. and now MSN has jumped on to the bandwagon too.. a bit too late eh Bill Gates?! this also lends credence to the conspiracy theories we have had about Google's plans for world domination through the internet.. check this out:

• Google - premier search engine
• Froogle - online shopping, trying to upstage E-Bay
• Orkut - online database for meeting people
• Blogger - most widely-known blog service
• Gmail - first e-mail service to introduce 1 Gb. mailboxes, and 'conversational' emailing
• Google AdSense - online advertising on personal and business webspaces
• Google Groups - online mail groups, competition is Yahoo Groups
• Google News - up and coming auto-generating news service
• Google Images - the most comprehensive image search engine, available for free

errm, am i missing anything else here?? well, i have one more idea for them.. they should try buying Overstock too.. and go head-to-head with Amazon!! soon the trademark multi-colored "Google" sign will be as widely known as the "Coca-Cola" one!

NB: thank you gaurav for reminding of this most-important one!

• Google Scholar - for educational research papers - a revolutionary idea this one!
  

bliss

in the depths of darkness, and heights of happiness.. which come together so often for me.. i truly understand this

                              bliss is walking.. cold freezing night.. snow flakes swirling..

                         footsteps on white.. walking and walking.. away from everything..

                                seeing new horizons.. life unfolds ahead.. i'll live forever.

be back soon

hey ppl.. just a bit busy right about now.. work, life.. a bit overwhelming. will blog again soon.. or as all public utility companies back in kenya say: normal service shall resume soon! for now, must.. get.. sleeeep...

call centers

ok, this may be just me.. but i hate calling up call centers to rectify a problem! it's really wacky, cos i don't mind seeing someone face to face and sorting something out, but for some strange, unknown reason the phone gets me! so despite years of stage performances, drama and theater, hosting shows, singing in bands, public speaking, elocution and debates.. whenever i have to talk to a representative on the phone i become a bit of a weirdo.. i start stammering, talk too fast, become incoherent, lose track of what i was saying, and other similar ills, and if the representative is a smooth talker.. then i'm in real trouble cos he/she could sell me a car without me raising even a slight whimper!!

quite a few of my friends actually work at call centers, and i remember having asked them if they get taught any tricks of the trade during training on how to bait and tongue-twist people like me.. and they answered with a very enigmatic "we are not at liberty to divulge that kind of information".. like its some goddamned secret agent thing.. aargh!!

so whenever i have a problem with my credit cards, bank accounts, cellphone service provider, cable company, magazine subscriptions, umm.. who else.. well, anyways, i will go to great lengths to avoid talking on the phone.. i will email them, post them, wait for them to rectify it themselves.. anything.. but God no, please don't let those representatives loose on me!! some of the more pesky ones must have been telemarketeers in their previous lives!!

thank God for cellphones.. at least i don't get telemarketeers calling me on that.. in my three previous experiences with these folks, all on my office phone.. i remember having ended all three conversations with a panicked "NO.. NO.. thanks, i DON'T need this, or that, or whatever.. AARGH.." then i slammed the phone down. they probably marked me off in their Telemarketeers' Database as a serious loony!!

golden boy

"i have a dream...", well, not really, "i am the dream, baby!!" yeah, you got that right!! so i'm the golden boy of the biomaterials department again.. back in from the wild! had a meeting with my advisor dr. baier today.. and for two hours he grilled me and man i came out shining!! yeah, to the extent whereby we discussed how much work was required for the thesis.. and how impressed he was by my standards and work ethic (yes yes, stop laughing!!).. he acknowledged i was not the kind of student who came in everyday and slogged 9-5.. but one who, if and when i needed to work, worked superbly! damn, i should get mom n' dad to speak to baier!! he was thrilled, and i even more so!!

now i'm gonna write down what the next part of my research involves before i forget.. the paper on which i was taking notes is already missing! ;-)) if technical jargon is not up your alley feel free to skip right on!

so far i've been working on the technical capabilities of the infrared microscope.. i've rebuilt that baby.. in fact baier commented to me that i should know her as well as i know my gf!! ha ha.. he cracks me up!! the general idea is to study fluid flow characteristics under biofilm formation conditions.. both by IR microscopy, and by thermal conductivity.. he even mentioned that he sees me getting done with this in a couple of months.. which leaves me enough time to expand the scope of the research.. too.. yeah, me like!!

Stuff surprise!!

well, yet another routine day.. am putting in some extra shifts now that end of semester is here, and the library is gonna be closed from x-mas to new year's.. have to keep making the limited moolah.. damn, i'm sick of this poverty!! there's a paid internship opportunity in cornell for microchip fab and microbio applications i have to interview for.. but thats in summer.. which seems like a f*%king eternity away!! nats.. i hope you know how lucky you are to be in rio right now!! :-P

sank and arul haven't been keeping too well.. so i made chicken stew.. with at least a dozen fresh veggies.. in the end it tasted like everything, and nothing, at the same time!! we'd gone to the library yesterday.. and had picked up ten movies.. so we started working that pile today.. watched 'Bad Santa'.. not too bad actually.

the highlight of my day was coming home to find a special Stuff subscriber bonus!! they sent me the Jan. 2005 edition even before they previewed it on the site!! Merry Xmas!! it has a special on 'It Girls of 2004'.. and guess who's cover?? tara reid baby!! yeeha!!

well, this is only a older pic of her.. and will have to suffice for you all until the new photoshoot is up!! meanwhile i shall cast lascivicious glances at this fair-skinned beauty to my heart's content.. hahaha!! ;-))

some news just in.. Erie County has passed a compromise red/green budget.. which means that the public utilities like libraries are gonna stay open, the cost of that will be offset by an increase of (yet another) 1% in sales tax.. bringing it up to 9.25%.. one of the highest in the nation. :-((

flying through time

ahh well, all good things come to an end, and all great things live on forever.. vip, missing you dude.

mal and tracie had a movie-and-pizza night at 122.. they got 'Last Samurai'.. which i really didn't mind watching again. the heroism and all was very hollywood-ish, but the countryside was breathtaking.. i dont know if its just me, but whenever i see pictures of the japanese countryside, it has a very calming effect.. that is definitely a country to go to when you take a sabbatical.. i would love to live in a shinto temple for some time.. meditate.. and write.

besides, i am fascinated by the whole samurai and ninja concepts of leading life as well.. has anyone read Eric van Lustbader? he was like Quentin Tarantino on paper.. that's how graphic his writings were.. the six books featuring Nicholas Linnear created much of the image i have of japan and its cultures as a whole in my head.

another thing i picked up from QT & EvL.. their fascination for the 'katana' - the samurai sword. it's actually a feat of engineering in itself.. so delicately crafted, yet so surprisingly strong, and immensely capable of such unthinkable destruction. i would definitely have a 'katana' hanging over the fireplace.. i cannot think of a better motif for life right now.

i want to be a 'katana' right now, strong, unyielding and tough.. yet when handled well, gentle and careful enough to be your companion for life.. a work of art, yet savage.. cold and warm at the same time.. unflinching, but still feeling everything.

"i would like to think that for me happiness is achieving some of the peace that so many seek, but so few find"

ode to vipul

well, not trying to be agonisingly mushy about all this.. but it's something i gotta do, cos its the end of an era!! this is a farewell (of sorts) to vipul.. who has finally seen that the grass is indeed greener (actually, the 'grass' would be better dry and brown..) on the other side, and has moved to baltimore. indeed, for me, vipul mehra is a person who all his life has concentrated every bit of energy he has in the pursuit of only one thing - to be comfortable!! it does appear to us around him that that is his sole, driving aim in life - to be comfortable!

through his two winters here (he has vehemently refused to count this year in the total!!), vip has been known by many names.. vipul, vip, mehra, dhamaar mehra, cleopatra, ganja gopi, mehra-G, chotte sarkaar, brown n$%%&r (sorry, no offense meant!), chotta daddy.. hmm.. i'm sure i'm missing a few here.. damned short-term memory loss! help me out here, people!

his keen pursuit of comfort was always helped along by a few constants in his life: his black hoodie.. a plate of daal-chawwal (or rajmaha, whatever was easier to make!).. a semi-slouching position on the couch.. twinkies and pineapple cubes with whipped cream.. M*A*S*H reruns and PBS documentaries.. sleeping in till noon.. a plaintive cry of "kya hain??", or ".. i'm telling you!".. sitting around in a circle and passing on the magic dragon.. night shifts at Hubie's.. and the light that sparks on in his face whenever he has one of those ground-breaking ideas that usually and unfortunately lead to a lot of effort being expended!!

anyways.. it's been a great time dude.. some totally awesome memories.. and some even more awesome times too.. thanks for everything dude, and we're sure gonna miss you around here (until you get back that is!!).. take care buddy, and all the best!!

NB: i think it would be really nice if all of you who met vipul would chip in here and said a few words about how he touched your lives ;-)) (whew, vip, this is sure sounding like an obituary here!! sorry about that dude!!)

boring monday

the weather's been pretty sad, and life is on a go-slow right about now.. i just realised that in this period of winter, we only technically have 9 hours of daylight a day, and since a bit of that is like clouded over, and i also dont wake up before noon.. that leaves me around 4 hours of light a day!! well, i wouldn't complain too much cos i am a night-crawler, but it would be nice to see the sun for a few hours everyday.. even though in winter the sun is absolutely no use for warmth purposes, only for lighting!

the Buffalo Bills are just getting better as the weeks go on.. they went to Miami, got into a shootout, and blew the Dolphins away 42-32.. yeah! it's excellent, cos the offence is finally firing at the high levels the defence and the special teams have set.. bledsoe's throwing good.. mould and evans are getting catches.. mcgahee is playing the 'smashmouth' football that the Bills are known for.. hang on buffalonians.. we're gonna run the table!!

had another damned term paper due today.. this one was worse cos i had to do this whole literature review for it too.. after all, there is only so much i can 'create' about stuff i have NO idea about!! thank god (and saurabh!!) for having had the foresight to realise that this literature review would HAVE to be done, and getting a few papers printed out when the assignment was given a month ago! anyways, i managed to write up a paper.. and impressed myself my how much i learned about posterior capsule opacification in intra-ocular lenses!! ok ok, now i'm just showing off ;-))

totally useless fact for the day: i'm sitting here working in the library, and i noticed that when patrons come in from outside to return books, the books are like really cold!

good times!!

thank you very much kamala and reshmi for coming.. i hope you gals enjoyed yourselves.. we had a great time, it had been quite some time since we had a blowout party like that! i have 'met' quite a few people online thanks to the world of blogging, but kamala is the first i've met personally.. :-))

so kamala and reshmi came in the afternoon, we had lunch at Amy's Place.. and we spent some time trying to trace the roots of how we know each other.. and it was really great, very casual and cool too.. none of the uncomfortable silences and stuff.. of course we discussed the blogs we read, and the bloggers we know ;-)) *evil laugh, hehe!* got to know a lot about some mutual bloggers we knew!! i feel the best part when you meet a fellow blogger is that you can finally put a face and a personality to someone whose work you read.. and get the full low-down on posts that they had put up.. yeah that's cool.

i love meeting people.. everyone has a different story.. and its nice to try and trace threads, see if there is anything in common.. for example.. kamala's dad was in kenya on work.. and guess what, he's in the same industry as my dad! not just that, but we think they know each other too!! what were the odds?!

so the girls, sank and i went to the niagara falls outlet mall.. and we hung out there for sometime.. doing random shopping and stuff.. then we went straight to UB for the Bulls basketball game against the conference champions Western Michigan.. the Bulls were having a bad day.. poor shooting, bad passing, turnovers.. and the horrific refereeing was just the icing on the cake.. we tried to be not fair-weather fans and sat through for a long time.. but then what the hell.. we had like gallons of alcohol in the car!! a four liter flagon of Carlo Rossi's Sangria, a big bottle of Bully Hill's Blush, a large Jim Beam's Bourbon, and a liter of Southern Comfort for good measure ;-))

this turned into a double party.. vipul is leaving on monday.. so it was a farewell party of sorts too. tracie, mal and ashish also came in with a cake.. and we'd got pizza too.. so we ate, drank and danced like crazy! everyone had really varied tastes in music, so we went from punjabi, to rap.. hiphop.. then salsa and swing too.. i put in some rock to headbang to as well :-))

reshmi actually has a bachelors degree in music, she sings classical!! she sang last night as well, and it was beautiful.. kamala did drama with a theater group for a long time.. two very multitalented, smart and pretty women!! how about that ladies?? ;-)) they left at two in the morning, back to rochester, cos kamala was flying back to raleigh-durham.. (pronounced rolly-durrum, eh kamala?!)

snoop and kt came by around 4 then.. and the party went on, and on.. until we all passed out.. yep, good times! :-))

let it snow!!

ahh, the snow's here.. i must say it's about time too.. got tired holding my breath, waiting for the blizzards! had gone out for a crazy walk when it had started snowing in the night.. it was first trippy, then got a little cold.. then it got damn outrageous trying to get back home! this is the night..

and the morning after!!

just another day

the UB Bulls won last night, 74-62 at home against Colgate University (i kid you not, that is a college!!).. we're getting better turnouts every game.. this year should be a conference title!! :-))

i love days like these.. i manage to wake up on time, get to work on time.. nothing much happens, and just when i'm starting to get tired of it all my shift is over.. and i can leave. i made an honest attempt to do some work too in the lab, only that it was locked, i didn't have the keys, and no one with the key was around! ;-)

these are nice times.. i feel lightheaded (not cos i'm stoned ;-)) by the way!!).. i work when i have to work, i slog when i have to slog, i party when i have to party.. beautiful, just beautiful! in fact, the last few days i've been sleeping beautifully .. four hours or eight, it's always deep, relaxed sleep.. hopefully gone forever are the days when insomnia and restlessness kept me tossing and turning all night, then all day long too!! she has brought me peace, and keeps a huge smile on my face, like a 'trace' of warmth and sunshine in these dark, gloomy days of winter ;-)) and no, her name is NOT Mary-Jane :-)))

no. 200

hey people.. yes you read that right.. post no. 200!! in roughly six months too.. that's like a post a day!! yeesh, maybe i need to lay off it a bit!! ;-)) haha, just kidding, how can i resist a wonderful audience such as you!! well, this started off as a journal for just the 'brownie' gang, then it expanded to carry photos and stuff for my family and friends.. and then it quickly became what it is today, this record of drunken debauchery, narcotic narcissism and hilarious hedonism!! :-))

anyways, to the 60-odd people who read this everyday, thank you very much you all for coming back, day after day, it's you who make doing ths worthwhile!! otherwise i'd just keep writing these little notes to myself on the backs of beer receipts, cigarette box foil wraps and in the margins of the sole exercise book that all my grad school life is based on!

once again, thank you all very much :-))