Barbecue 101

now after the 'glowing' intro ash has given about the barbecue in his blog, i feel compelled to write some more about it! man has lived on meat since the neanderthal times, and ever since my far relatives realised that meat somehow tasted better when given a spin on a hot fire, they have moved up the food chain.

back in kenya, bbq-ing is a favorite pastime, going by the name "nyama-choma" (literally = "meat-burn")!! we have also discovered over the zillions of years (in darwinian terms) in the plains and savannahs of kenya that pretty much anything on four legs, three legs, two legs - heck, any living thing! - can be used as bbq meat. of course, depending on the source, the meat has to be appropriately prepared. the drier meats have to be marinated, while the saltier ones need to be drained (homo sapiens anyone?); anyways, meats will be handled later on.

well, for those who don't bbq, or are just starting off, lemme start with a quick tour. we use a nice simple charcoal grill, preferring this over a gas-fired grill. firstly there's something to the flavor added by coal that gas doesn't give you. secondly, looking at the safety angle, i'd rather keep my gas very far away from the sparks and fire. a good set of barbecue equipment is very necessary - don't be stingy when buying hardware - this is what will save your hands, and the success of your project is always very directly related to your equipment (that last statement applies in married life too, i'm sure!!) a pair of tongs, large and sharp fork/pincers, a flat spatula, big-ass knife, some skewers and you're good to go. i think the above-mentioned equipment will be good enough to handle a nagging wife in the above mentioned married life too!! :-))

you can always use the activated coal which is so much easier to light, but is quite expensive too. we prefer to use the regular coal, and copious quantities of lighter fluid. interesting observation: at wal-mart, 28 pounds of coal comes for the same price as 40 pounds of dog-food - is there a lesson to be learned in this?? place the coal on the coal rack in the grill, and make sure there is at least an inch of space underneath that grill, as you need that for air flow. pile the coals in a pyramid-shape and douse liberally with lighter fluid, then scrunch up a sheet of newspaper, light it, and touch the flame to the coals individually until you have a uniform flame blazing. once you see the corners of the coals going white, you know the coals have caught, so start fanning the flame (a pizza box works just fine). when you start fanning, the flames will go out - this is your cue to start fanning the coals more vigorously until they glow a deep-red. spread the coals around now, so that you have a even heat base.

pretty much anything that breathes can be eaten, AND put on the grill too. that applies to vegetative life as well. my favorites for grill fodder are:
- hot dogs [don't get the turkey/chicken processed stuff, it sucks!! nothing like a nice beef or pork dog! if you find Sahlen's anywhere, go with it. a wide variety of relishes are available to add to the dogs - ketchup, sweet relish, hot relish, mustard, mayo, hot sauce]
- pork chops [these taste heavenly when done well. marinate in a simple garlic sauce (ground garlic paste, lemon juice, mayo, salt and hot sauce to taste) for a few hours, and place on the grill. turn just once when well done. avoid piercing the chops so as to keep the juices in]
- chicken thighs [much better than drumsticks because they have more meat, are flatter so they cook more evenly, and do not fall apart when you slit them. feel free to marinate as you like. my personal favorite is with an indian touch. tandoori masala, garam masala, red chilli powder, lemon juice, curd, salt, all mixed up, and the thighs left for 4-6 hours in a big container, covered with the marinade]
- baked potatoes [if you get small ones excellent, otherwise cut in halves, wrap in aluminium foil, and toss in with the coals. after about half an hour, poke with a skewer - when soft, pull them out, cut into four wedges, drop a slice of butter in between, a dash of lemon juice and salt, and that is heaven]
- mixed veggies [to ease the 'meat sweats', a few veggies tossed into the diet will do you good. red and green peppers, mushrooms, baby tomatoes, baby onions, paneer cubes all cut to roughly the same size and skewered, then placed on the grill and regularly turned, come out awesome]

finally, a few things to watch out for. if your meat is starting to char, then move it to the sides of the grill, where it is cooler. if the meat starts feeling tough and dry, then you can moisturise it. the traditional bbq way is to pour some beer over it, which does wonders!! another way to go is to baste it with some of the marinade, which also works wonderfully when beer is added to it!! a non-stick cooking spray comes in very handy to spray on the grill before placing the meat.

to end, a little caution is always good. this might sound very condescending, but keep the heroics far from the grill. lighter fluid goes up with a whoosh, and singed eyebrows might sound very cool, but will not work wonders if you're trying to pick up chicks at the bbq! if using a gas grill, then be careful about sparks and smoking around the grill. finally, if you've been smoking pot, the flames are mesmerising!! they are so damn beautiful!! but you'll let the food burn!! so let someone else do the dirty work!! party on people, and have yourselves a good bbq.