rock and a hard place

sometimes you are caught between a rock and a hard place

what haunts you more, expectations or memories? i can't make up my mind what taints my days and nights more..

cheers!

i say there's very little that can happen in life that can't be cured by a couple of beers.. all very tongue-in-cheek of course! so i got me my couple, erm make that many many, cold beers and am feeling much better.. hic!

disappointing is as disappointing does

sometimes you..

load up your plate too much and then can't finish it all,

juggle so many torches in the air that you lose count,

carry every cross you find until you can't even walk,

and then you..

have to throw away some food, and i really hate wasting food.

get burned by falling torches, and i don't like getting burned.

stumble and fall down hard, and i absolutely detest being weak.

me me me.. hahah!

I am thinking about…
listening to Staind and wondering where my life is heading..
"So I speak to you in riddles because, My words get in my way"
i've also been hitting the vodka after i got home!

I said...
i feel really sociable right now! but i think should eat, watch some tv and go to sleep.. (i know, how boring!)

I want to...
take a vacation. one week at least. please!

I wish...
i was still a grad student.

I hear...
the a.c. humming away in the back, and the music that's playing in the back.

I wonder...
why i haven't done more in life being the age that i am.

I regret...
i try to live life well, and regret little, but the last few months leave me full of regret.

I am...
the awesome one. (you better believe it)

I dance...
wait a sec, i don't dance, but i sure do headbang to heavy effing metal!

I sing...
all sorts of stuff, mostly Alice In Chains, Nirvana, Metallica and Junoon.

I cry...
nopes, nada.. don't do that crying business.

I am not always...
the easiest person to deal with.

I make with my hands...
things around me.. i'm a mechanic at heart, it's what i do.

I write...
all the time, but rarely publish the stuff that means anything to me.

I confuse...
pretty much everyone around me.

I need…
to sleep.. to drink.. to eat.. to just be myself again. (that is if i can remember who myself was in the first place!)

yes this is a tag, so go ahead and do the needful..

needed yesterday

have you ever felt you're always running behind life? that you're always trying to catch up?

work has been like that, as we try to overcome years of mismanagement and neglect, and then implement a better system. however, we spend so much time running around 'firefighting' - repairing, correcting, amending, changing - when do we ever put in the new system? most work-orders and purchase orders we write come with the tag - needed yesterday!

now my life is becoming like that too. i'm running around trying to get to so many things that i had to do yesterday! i just wonder where my time has gone. i used to be a very laidback person, 'take it easy' was my catchphrase in life. but now, i look in the mirror and i am not that person anymore. is this what having a professional career does to you?

i mean, look at me, up at 7 on a sunday morning, getting ready to go to work! but i have no regrets, the experience i garner here will definitely set me up for life, i just have to remember at what point to not be overwhelmed and let career rule life.

a break, my kingdom for a break!

the last two weeks have been really tough, you can tell from the infrequency of posting.. days have melded into nights and back into days again, and when i am not slogging away at work i'm either eating or asleep! i haven't been the best company either for that period, as many of you who have tried to talk to me will testify.

if it sounds like i am complaining then i am really not, though my weary bones will scream otherwise. work is alternately fulfilling and frustrating, satisfying yet exhausting. it's always good to see little things you do make a positive difference, and at the same time it hurts when changes you try to make are received with a derisive snort not because they aren't good but because they are different from the old-school methods that people have become used to.

i have my 3-month review coming up, and it's a shot in the arm when the Plant Manager takes a couple of minutes during a management meeting to say a few words about your work. the plans we have to improve the production are good, but things were bound to get worse before they got better. right now we're pretty much hitting rock-bottom in that slump, the super-hot weather, extra-high demand for our products, temperamental machines and frazzled nerves have ensured that this low is a pretty bad low. i've already hit 60+ hours at work this week, and am yet to go in for at least another 10 this weekend - damn i wish i was getting paid overtime!

no promises about more regular blogging yet, who knows what this coming week will bring.. but you can do me a huge favor - go out there and buy more cold drinks.. Pepsi, Aquafina, Mountain Dew, Tropicana, Sierra Mist, Schweppes, Lipton, Crush, Brisk, Flavorsplash, Sparkling or whatever - you will make me work harder, but make me a tad bit richer too at the same time! ;-)

hot, hard and tiring

now before you start getting any ideas about the title of this post, it refers to the weather, work and hours that i am at work respectively.

the summer has kicked in and its hot and humid all the time, even in the dead of the night. not a pleasant thing at all i must say. luckily the town i live in is a bit in the sticks, so there is a pleasant breeze coming through the windows at night, though life is only possible because of the ac.. damn i wish i had an ac in my dorm room back in undergrad!

work is.. (insert appropriate, wait.. inappropriate abusive language and other choice phrases, preferably from sailors' vocabulary).

i've been back on day-shift this week.. which means i can live normal people hours. but at the same time, the normal people i try to associate with do not work 12-13 hours a day, so not so normal i guess!

will try to read peoples' blogs again this weekend.. note emphasis on try. for now i'm jumping back into bed.. see ya!

however it comes

Shakira made a surprise visit for the closing ceremony, and her 'honest hips' didn't lie.. the fact was that the Final was going to be won by the team that played smartest, and not necessarily best. once again, the Italians played the 'catenaccio' to perfection, withdrawing and letting the French do all the running and expend their energy, and hitting back on the counter-attack.

it wasn't a great Final, one of the worse ones over the years actually. that was no surprise, especially with the way the game started! normalcy was restored after 20 minutes with the score 1-1, and the tactical battle ensued. a moment of madness by French star Zidane led to his forever staining the legacy of his great career. a penalty shootout was the only logical solution to the stalemate, where the Italians exorcised their penalty kick demons by scoring five out of five, and hey.. "we are the champions, we are the champions, of the world!"

and so a World Cup tainted by cheating, diving and other untoward actions came to a close. for one month, the soccer world had come to a standstill for this, as had the lives of millions of people. back to real life now i guess, with the consolation that Italy won at least - forza Italia!

feast your eyes

football is not called the beautiful game for nothing, and the World Cup is held in summer just for that reason! enjoy this selection of pics from the football fest

forza italia!

'realization of a dream'

that one line sums up the Italian march to the World Cup Final. if you watched the semi-final against Germany then you can have valid claims to have been part of one of the greatest displays of 'catenaccio' soccer, a term patented by the Italians, meaning 'door-bolt'.. signifying the system where you score once and then 'shut up shop' using hard-working defense. all offensive attempts after that are concentrated on the counter-attack.

Italy beat Germany 2-0 mere minutes ago.. striking twice late late in extra time after keeping the home team at bay for 118 minutes until then! as you can expect, i was sitting glued to the tv, in my #7 Italian blue jersey, biting off my fingernails until the last few frenetic minutes sent me and Italia supporters all over the world into raptures.

now a little more about the blue jersey.. #7 is the number worn by a certain player known as Alessandro Del Piero, who is my God and Almighty as far as all things soccer go. i even wrote this farewell tribute to him two years ago, little did i know that he would come back to the greatest stage of soccer for one last time

arrivederci

my friends, it is with a very heavy heart i sit here to write this.. only the cruellest juxtaposition of the stars would serve to eliminate Italy, yet the trajectories did cross, and the azzurri are out of Euro 2004.. with it bringing to a certain end the international careers of three great Italian forwards.. Christian Vieri, Pippo Inzaghi and, and.. and Alessandro Del Piero.. who at 29 has had his legs fail him yet again on the international stage.. 24 goals and 66 caps say nothing about his amazing talent, leadership and gift of reading the game.

i have followed Alex since '93.. when he first stepped into Roberto Baggio's shoes.. and immediately became Juventus' wonderkid.. and testament to his faith and belief in the bianconeri, the man dubbed as 'il pinturicchio' has never played for any other club at the highest level. i have been with him through all his highs and lows.. five Serie A titles, four Champions League finals (3 consecutive), 1 Inter - Continental club cup win, 3 Copa Italia finals.. and the big championships.. Euro '96 when he was in the squad that got eliminated by Czech Rep. drawing 3-3 with Russia, World Cup '98 when Cesare Maldini's indecision over Del Piero and Baggio led to France shutting them out on penalties, Euro 2000 when Del Piero was heavily blamed for not scoring in the final and France pulling back to beat them on golden goal, World Cup 2002 when trap could not decide whether to play with Totti and/or Del Piero, and now Euro 2004 where Trap is playing him on the left tip of his arrowhead formation.. it has been a very frustrating international career for Alex.. plus the numerous niggling injuries he has picked up in the Serie A, truly the toughest defensive league in the world. one hopes he still has it in him to play World Cup 2006, but he remains one of the greatest players to have never won an international crown.. grazie Alessandro, buona fortuna for the future, and arrivederci for now. maybe it's time for me to hang up my Italia no. 7 jersey..

i am so glad he made me pull out my jersey from the depths of the closet once again, and show it off with pride as he ran onto a clever backheel and curled the ball exquisitely around the German goalie to score yet one more goal, and seal the deal 2-0 with the last kick of the game. so i leave you with some images from that goal, Alex curving the ball in, and takes off in celebration..

the times

time never stands still. yet waiting for times to change is a test of patience in itself. we spend a lifetime anticipating the change, shoulders burdened with that anticipation. inevitable really. and of course, you are never ready for the times to change even when you know they will. we find it hard to break off the shackles of expectation, because of things.

things happen. we'd like to think they happen for the better, but sometimes they do happen for the worse. the sooner we make our peace with that and are ready to accept that, the easier it becomes to deal with it. or so we tell ourselves. yet we dream, that this good phase is the best phase, and will last forever.

forever is an anomaly. the only things that are certain to last forever are that the sun will rise in the east and set in the west tomorrow. if that fails to happen day after tomorrow then we'd know we're destined to live in interesting times. i hear that phrase has often been used as a curse - now i know why.

why is a question in itself. why gives us a reason to wake up and go out. it is the elusive donut that you crave, that perfect one that you want so bad, yet at the same time you are scared to discover because no other will be like it again. why is a question we want answered, but at the same time we don't; step forward fear.

fear is a drug. we get addicted to it. we are scared to be too happy for too long, for when it changes (like it most certainly will), it might be too hard. so we seek solace by slowly chipping away at our own confidence and abilities, self-destructing in the process. when things reach a tipping point, we topple over in cartoonlike slow motion, landing flat on our faces in the dust of time.

time never stands still.