shot down..

the F-16 wings through the skies, the last afterburner spurt almost emptied the gas tanks, but now it's all secondary, as there is enough altitude and spare jet fuel to carry the fighter plane back to the home base. the azure is unbroken from end to end, dotted with woolly puffs of white cloud. the sun has gone down enough that the brightness doesn't cause the eyes to water.

"this is homebase calling yeahbaby.. come in yeahbaby. we see you on our screens, have you home in a bit!"

the pilot leans back and exhales slowly, the last couple of hours were tense, weaving and ducking past the enemy fire. he lets himself smile, and think about after the war. get a decent job, travel some more.. BEEP! BEEEEEP! the tracking alarm goes off as by instinct he throws the plane into a roll with a flick of his wrist. enemy missiles have homed in on him and locked into place! he raps his LCD display with his hand, and tries to look over his shoulder.. where, who, what the fuck?!

he pulls up the joystick and gains altitude, trying to get rid of the persistent BEEP! that tells him that there is serious hardware headed his way. again he tries to peer round when WHAM!! the plane cartwheels on its nose and spirals downwards in a mad tumble. pieces of the fuselage sail downwards as, numbed by shock and fatigue, the pilot can only think about how close home seemed. the wind wails as the plane goes screaming down, the windshield of the cockpit no longer showing blue skies, but hard brown earth rushing up to meet him.

                                                       ----------

i met with my advisor today. he very grimly informed me that i was doing nowhere nearly enough to get things done in time. i had thought that i would be finishing this thesis very soon, but he has very solemnly squashed any such possibilities. so i guess i will be reading those 50+ papers after all, and will be writing a dozen rough drafts to every chapter of the thesis, and will be spending a few wintry nights in the lab as buffalonian blizzards rage outside. the story above is a pretty accurate reflection of what is happening.

of course, all this means that you will see a reduced presence from me on your blogs, and your IM screens. i will not have forgotten you, nor will i have forgotten The Outlaw Torn, through which i met so many of you.. but i really need to fix up my life and get over this. take care, and thank you everyone for all your support, and i'll see you soon when i level out and come humming in over the hedges and fields to land this plane of mine!