winds of change

I'm not suposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

'Changes' - 3 Doors Down

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please bear with me for the next couple of days as we change the template on the blog.

the wait

After awakening, The silence grows
The screams subside, Distortion shows

a sudden realisation, an afterthought almost, sends me reeling

Mutant thoughts, Of bad mouthed news
Just another birth, Of distorted views

worst-case scenarios can't help but manifest in my head

The wait, The wait
The wait, The wait

time stands still, the night doesn't pass and the day doesn't dawn

'The Wait' - Metallica

back from the break

hey there folks! just got back from the Thanksgiving break.. good to see y'all again! the holiday with the gf was absolutely awesome, with Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's place, and roaming the streets of New York City. the weather helped a lot too, keeping mild and warm. i'll be showing more pics from the big city over the next few days, but for now, here's the inimitable Times Square on a busy holiday weekend..

moved moved moved

this blog has now moved to a different site.. please update your bookmarks to:

http://www.stheoutlawtorn.com

thanks folks, see you there!

Big News, Part Two

time for another clichéd speech, about how everything has a lifespan.. more run-of-the-mill statements about how all good things come to an end.. hehe! this blog has definitely seen a fair share of fun times, chronicling the wild parties and dreary workdays, the exhilarating trips and the awful mondays.. these will always be good times to look back upon and smile :-)

i bet you think that this is it for this blog, and yet another one bites the dust eh?! seems to be quite the fashionable thing to do, right?! if that is what you are thinking, then i will be forced to correct you, for you shall be wrong! we're only gonna get bigger and better!

The Outlaw Torn has outgrown Blogger, and will be moving to an independent website.. i hope to see you all there with the same regularity that you all showed up here! it is still under construction, in the more-than-capable hands of Kavi (@ GirlUnfettered.com), and shall be up very soon.

the gf and i will be going away for a week for the Thanksgiving holiday, see you all at the new blog on monday the 28th.. a very happy Thanksgiving to all, and take care of yourselves!

Big News, Part One

yes you read right.. this is post no. 500!! so here is the same old hackneyed speech:

"thank you all for coming by every day, or week, whenever you got a chance. without your support none of this would have been possible. i never knew when i begun if i would be able to stick with this, that it would grow this large, and that i would reach such a milestone. i'd like to thank my parents, my friends, the director, the producer and the Academy for this Oscar.. &*%#@%$!$@#!!!"

wait a sec! wrong speech! so here's the real deal:

"thank you, all of you, for dropping by as often as you do. the blog started off being for myself, but make no mistake, i do write for everyone. maybe that means this is less a personal diary, and more a newspaper column.. so be it, i'm still enjoying writing here! keep coming back, and i'll keep writing! thank you once again."

stay tuned for Big News, Part Two tomorrow!

things that make me smile

some things can always make me smile.. girls being one of the main ones! hehe! here are some of my personal favorites.. (clockwise from top left)

- a girl sleeping peacefully.. nothing can be more romantic, and more calming than that sight.
- a girl eating.. and actually enjoying her food! preferably eating ice cream (but of course!!)
- a girl in a little black number.. black is always elegant, & smart, & classy.. basically hot!
- a girl running.. there's poetry in the motion, and such grace in the fluidity of her limbs.
- a girl cheerleading.. pretty girl = good; little outfit = good; football = good.. just perfect!
- a girl smiling.. last, and most important, a great sense of humor, and an honest smile :-)

the white stuff

looked out the window yesterday evening, and all i could say was "damn, the white stuff is here.."

** EDIT ** 8.30 a.m.**
it's not snowing any more, but the temperature is still falling.. it's -8°C (18°F), and i'm headed back to bed!

"Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!"

'Let It Snow' - A Traditional Christmas Carol

higher education

we start off knowing a little about lots of things,
then we know more and more about less and less,
and finally we know everything about nothing.

bleh!

adventitia

greater than tomorrow, this picture so perfect
wasted don't swallow, spit out the reject
not made to follow, the leader's a defect
mind like an arrow, still sharp and erect
a minute to ponder

monday roundup

yet another monday has dawned, a tad chilly but bright and sunny! of course, that doesn't change anything, it's still a damned monday.. bleh!

woke up with a blocked nose and a tickle in the throat.. that cannot be a good sign! meds, here i come!

for once i actually utilised the weekend well, and achieved the quota of thesis work i had set myself.. well, almost! hehe!

and finally, some very big news coming up at the end of this week, regarding this blog .. so stay tuned! have a good week everyone!

Intoxication

the spirit in you and the spirit in my glass come together as one. they whirl about like tiny tornados that tear up my halcyon world and toss it away like a child throwing a stick with gleeful abandon. words don't describe the energy you infuse in me, and the surge of life you inject into my calm demeanor whenever you come around.

i hold you close, and sip from your cup of love. rolling my tongue around the smooth silk, breathing deep the heady aromas that rise from the tumbler and go straight to the head. your alluring smile draws me into your mystical web, and ensnares me with velveteen, enveloping arms. your touch warms me from the inside, and cold fingers chase tiny shivers that grow into a rumbling quake that leaves me befuddled and bemused.

you engage me with electrifying fire, burning me up with passion and fuelling me to highs where there's only sheer white light, soft on the eye, and a rush to the blood. and just when we can't soar any higher, can't have any more, the bottom falls away and i dive down down into a clammy grey. arms spread wide and wind screaming past my ears i fly. the clouds come up to meet me in a tantalizing hurry, as if time were rushing out from a broken hourglass. i reach out and taste you again on a numb tongue and insensate mouth, an enthralling kiss getting lost in the midst of a swirl of flashing memories and luscious smiles. with a roar the surf breaks over me, and lands me on the beach, feeling the sand drawing away from between my fingers as the rip tide pulls away and another wave crashes into me.

on the euphoric plateau stern resolutions are waived, and promises meant to be broken are made. the more i have, the more i want. the tempting taste of you lingers in my hungry mind, and the unceasing desire to make more memories, to seize the unwilling day and rattle the placid night. the spirit is willing and the flesh submits again, yearning for platitudes to quiet the savage beast within.

i reach out my hand and touch you, drawing you closer. my rapt, spellbound gaze only broken as you lean into me, and hold up another glass.

*For more blue posts, here's the site*

puissant

Tag from Yankeebob

1. flip open a dictionary and point to a word / get word of the day from dictionary.com
2. type the word into google images.
3. pick an image that strikes you.
4. write a 10 line riff off the image.
5. use the word or the meaning at least once within the first 5 lines.
6. tag 3 other bloggers on your list.
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puissant: (adjective)
powerful, strong, mighty; eg, a puissant princess.



haughty she stands, confident in her strength,
her courage runs along the blade's length,
you know what she wants, snapping her whips,
the taste of leather still fresh on your lips,
the look in her eyes and lust clouding her mind,
gently savage she's licentious and yet kind,
consuming passion, glowering with a cold fire,
driving you wild and filling you with desire,
back arched in ecstasy, moving in for the kill,
won't cease or desist until she's had her fill.

indifference, maybe?

it takes a certain kind of girl to be quite incurious of her boyfriend's past amours..

a certain amount of diffidence and security to not care much about who he's been with and where he's been with whom.. (does that make her apathetic?)

a certain amount of faith and trust to know that there won't be any sort of recurrences and renewals with old flames.. (does that make her blasé?)

a certain amount of confidence and belief in the relationship she has with him that these things don't really matter.. (does that make her detached?)

a certain amount of benevolence and will that she wouldn't really be envious of any previous dalliances of his.. (does that make her disaffected?)

and it takes a certain kind of guy to be equally incurious of his girlfriend's past too.
(does that make him indifferent, maybe?)

hot Stuff!

December's Stuff covergirl is Ukrainian-born hottie Mila Kunis.. you've seen her play the bimbo Jackie on That 70's Show, but heck, you ain't ever seen her this way! ;-)

sorry, no HNT from me today, been too busy with Stuff.. i mean, stuff! hehe!

run to you

i dream quite often, though in the mists of waking up, all memories of the dreams are quickly dissipated like puffs of steam on a windy Buffalo morning. one of my more common dreams is where i'm running, but not moving. it's like my feet are laden with lead weights, and my muscles are like clumps of rice pudding.. and i never get anywhere. sometimes it's me playing a big soccer game, but just can't run to the ball, and see it trickle away from me.. other times i'm running to catch someone, only to see him/her disappear round the next corner while i run as if attached to a bungee cord..

last night was a new first.. i dreamed i was missing a bus, and was running to catch it.. and while i was running, it kept flashing through my head that i always dream about running like this, and always miss.. true to form, i plodded and plodded on.. but this time i did catch the bus. maybe i've finally turned the corner, and won't let the next opportunity slide past.

what do you folks dream about?

an appetite for destruction

as my days in college wind down, i can't help but reminisce about some good times we've had over the years.. almost entirely fuelled by girls and alcohol, drugs and rock n' roll in copious quantities.. living the rockstar lifestyle! call me what you like, but heck, i had fun, made it through in one piece (sort of!).. and got an education!

Guns N' Roses were one of the last of that dying breed of bands who lived it up, and lived it out.. who epitomised the fast life, then crashed and burned in a ball of flames! this one song is a eulogy to those carefree times.. from their hell-raising debut album 'Appetite For Destruction'.. this is 'Nightrain'


Well I'm a west coast struttin', one bad motherf**ker
Got a rattlesnake suitcase under my arm
Said I'm a mean machine, been drinkin' gasoline
And honey you can make my motor hum
I got one chance left, in a nine life cat
I got a dog eat dog sly smile
I got a Molotov cocktail, with a match to go
I smoke my cigarette with style
And I can tell you honey you can make my money tonight

Wake up late honey, and put on your clothes
Take your credit card to the liquor store
That's one for you, and two for me by tonight
And I'll be..

Loaded like a freight train.. Flyin' like an aeroplane
Feelin' like a space brain.. One more time tonight

I'm on the nightrain.. Bottoms up
I'm on the nightrain.. Fill my cup
I'm on the nightrain..
Ready to crash and burn, I never learn

I'm on the nightrain.. I love that stuff
I'm on the nightrain.. Can never get enough
I'm on the nightrain..
Never to return, no never to return!

a weekend in fall

Things I've Learned - Pt.2

What not to order on an interview lunch

when you go for an interview that includes lunch, and are invited to order, it makes good sense to not order pasta, especially if its spaghetti! i got taken out to Olive Garden on an interview recently, and ordered the chicken parmigiana, but it completely slipped my mind this was a spaghetti dish! luckily i managed to not splatter any of it all over while continuing with the interview!

little things

there are some little things, that shouldn't bother you much, but they do.. and some that should, but don't..

yesterday was a pleasant day, almost warm in fact! a great day that made women feel like bringing out their skirts. the day did turn incredibly windy though, and the wind whipped around, gusting and puffing at everything. it was a great day for men to hang around outside :-) apparently it's gonna stay this way all through the weekend.. nice!

the huge noisy lawnmowers were out in force, tearing up and down the vast lawns.. i'm gonna miss the smell of freshly-cut grass in winter. by all predictions, we're gonna be in for one helluva snow-belter this time round! i've been cycling to and from college the last few days.. it feels good to be back on a cycle after two years! anyways, the snows are almost here, so that will soon be that.

finally, it can't be a good sign when one's advisor introduces yours truly to another professor with the words "here's another classic student, strong back and weak mind.."!! i'm feeling kinda backhand-slapped at that comment!

chip off the ol' tootH-NT

no this is not a vampire pic from Halloween.. just a pic of my chipped front tooth! the story harks back to high school, when i used to play rugby.. which differs from american football in that you don't have the whole Kevlar bulletproof armor and all.. just put on your jock strap and you're off to the races!!

the thing about rugby is, you either gotta be big, or fast.. both is even better! the problem with not being big is that eventually you will get caught.. and the result of a particularly unpleasant pile-up is what you see below, a broken nose and three extremely painful root-canal treatments.. not a punishment i would will upon even a most-hated enemy!

have a great HNT everyone! for the record, the tooth will be crowned soon, and the nose has been straightened since! hehe!

for newbies, this is what its all about.. and here is where you can see all the entries for the day!!
(scroll down till you see Hiding Half-Nekkid This Week in the Back Row on the right!)

pulp fiction, anyone

now here's an idea that deserves some kudos! two (failed, i must add) veteran writers get together over drinks and come up with an idea involving girls, guns and money! how can that go wrong?!

Hard Case Crime is a series of books by some acclaimed authors, and some not so big, in the original pulp fiction genre, with custom made noir covers too. check out the list of books and writers here.. pretty impressive actually!

if you read this kind of stuff growing up, or got your kicks reading Sidney Sheldon and Danielle Steel instead.. then this is for you! i've always had a thing for noir writing (eg. Sin City), and have a feeling i'm gonna enjoy these, cheesy though they might seem..

look out for them, they could just be the next retro thing to make it big.. God knows everything else from the past has come back again with a bang!

*shudder*

o boy o boy.. this might come as a surprise to those of you who know me.. but man am i frrreeeaaked!! now that i am at the mountain, might as well climb the damned thing!